I got pretty fired up after reading this thread---here are my thoughts on it.
Y'know, for a social community that prides itself on being inclusive and welcoming, I'm getting a very different vibe here.
It seems that CS talks a good game, but the reservoir of goodwill kind of dries up when the rubber hits the road.
Joey seems like a nice enough fellow, (you youtube video is weirdly
hilarious--I'm getting a definite early Peter Jackson vibe here...any
"Bad Taste" fans out there...no?)
He doesn't seem to have threatened anyone, or been cruel, a jerk, or a bad host--y'know stuff that would matter.
His capital crime seems to have been having bad social skills, not picking up on cues, and being repetitive.
In this department I have nothing but sympathy and empathy for the
guy---being notoriously hit-or-miss in my own social interactions in my
misspent youth....actually the jury's still out if I really mastered the
seldom mentioned but quite important art of socialization.
Speaking for myself and any other social retards out there, I think it's
pretty lame how Joey got nailed to the wall because he's a bit annoying
and "not cool." I can tell you that it's not an easy go in life if
you're not socially adept, and it probably doesn't do much too help the
situation, when you get publicly humiliated on a forum after you try to
reach out.
Talk about kicking a man when he's down.
The "mean girls in High school" impression isn't really a very open-minded or pleasant way to deal with those who are different.
It's become verboten to pick on people of different races religions or
sexual orientations...heck, even nerds have experienced a sudden
respectability and 'not cool to made fun of' status. but tragically it's
still open-season on people who are awkward or not all that good in
playing it cool.
We need a new PR guy.
But, I figure we're all flawed human beings and all deserving of getting some slack cut for our own foibles.
Over-wrought moral summarizing statement time
Isn't there a little "Joey oatmeal" in all of us??
@ Ryan Coleman:
I wasn't gonna respond on this topic anymore, but well, here's my
thoughts: A number of people (including myself) genuinely tried to help
this guy out - he was rude, ignorant and selfish. Zero appreciation for
the people offering help. Only constant demands to give him the answer
he wants and feels he's somehow entitled to because he's american.
The CS community is open and inclusive, but does that mean we need to
tolerate racism and close-mindedness? I would say absolutely not and
since he doesn't seem to posses any bit of good manners nor does he seem
to have any interest in true involvement in the community (all his
posts are all about him), i'd say this is not a community for him.
I appreciated CS for a long time before it became a commercial web site.
Now they turned into a business and more and more users like this guy,
who are much better fit on twitter or myspace, are trying to rudely
butt into CS.
yes - it's a welcoming community - but it's a community of 'give and
get' - and if somebody's only looking to demand more for themselves and
offers nothing, not even a 'thank you' in return - it's not a community
for them.
Thanks Matt D, I totally agree with your opinion~
For you guys reference, all of his nonsense posts/ threads have been
deleted so far, and you guys experience no stupid comments/threads (uh,
oh, nice, I paid $20...) All problems just about HIS problems. Indeed,
he may share on his FB or another locations.
Dont jump into conclusion when you just read this thread.
I dont say thay he is not a talented guy, everyone has their own capability, I respect that,
But as long as you dont respect the whole community (here is
Couchsurfing), you will definitely be kicked out of the human beings
group~
I did click on his Fb last
time when trying to define who this nerd truely is. Saw that he has many
vietnamese friends who are also trying to help him with his visa. They
help him, provide him information/ procedures, after getting no response
from him but his same continous demands/ questions, they start to get
mad~
Not sure its good to share this truth but sadly we Vietnamese (in
general) have disease of "white people admiration". We are just the
same, bad ones, good ones everywhere and trying to get fit~
@ Ryan Coleman:
I am not about to write more, but a warning for you:
Do not judge when you do not know who I am. Its free for you to express your opinion here about the topic.
At least not just only me who could gather up enough information to define who this American nerd is & what he wants~
if he is just a guy with bad social skills this thread is not a nice thing.
if he is a troll then this thread will make him post more. The worst
thing you can do about a troll is to pay attention to him and especially
argue because of him.
In either case this thread should not be continued.
If somebody is annoyed by his repetitive posts and lack of good manners
he can leave him a negative reference stating this: that's what
reference feature is for. Creating a thread about this is not a good
idea because of reasons pointed above.
Repetitive posts should be flagged and deleted by admins, not answered with anger (again the same reasons as above apply).
I think the purpose of this
thread was to give a heads up but ended up in a different direction.
However, the name calling is going a bit far on this one. I think
bashing is for other social medias and not CS.
I agree with Matt's opinion. I
think everyone here was quite tolerant and helpful at the first sight,
but Joey seemed not to care about what people advised. He was all about
himself and his visa drama. And he posted too many threads with the same
thing. Personally I don't like him (i just felt he was trying to
advertise himself and his social networks - by the most stupid way of
course), and in general, anyone who was trying to help him realized he
had some problems (not only bad social skills but annoying attitude)
finally. In my opinion, it's necessary for the community to warn other
members about some not-nice people in the site, because maybe they will
host/meet those people once day and instead of having a nice time, all
may become the pain in the ass. Ryan had his point, but he didn't know
the real situation and made Trang upset. I just wanna say everyone has
his own opinion, and has right to like or dislike someone, but when you
join a community (I refer CS), make good things for others, I mean Trang
was right to start this thread to warn people about that guy. Too many
people wasted their time for him, and it was the time to tell them the
truth.
Ryan Coleman, you a fan of
Star Wars? I do like Peter Jackson. There is a bit of Oatmeal in all of
us. I am in Saigon now and things do seem better down here. I like
asking a bunch of people many questions so I can compare answers. I am
not proud of my youtube videos. i want to be the next Will Smith. I
might be getting a 3 month single entry Vietnam tourist visa extension
at chi Cafe in Saigon for $42 USD. I might be signing a work contract
Thursday with a school. Maybe they will take care of my visa. http://youtube.com/OriginalOatmeal
I agree with you on the inferiority complex that a lot of people have
(interesting matter would like to discuss this some day with more
people). But I don't see how this is relevant now. You come across as an
intelligent person, don't you think its better just to ignore him
rather than using these strong words. Obviously in they eyes of many he
lacks social competence but that should not be the reason to get this
angry. He contacted me as well, several times.
Dear Joey, the fact that a lot of people within the couch surfing
society perceive your behavior as unpleasant (euphemism) should make you
think about it..
