Me.Journal
Tuesday, 24 January 2006
- Depressivated Day? I am of Zuagg
WOL Ranch Camp Interview: influencing kids is my priority, I told Mike Eaton, but if STC needed help then I would be their' Chris Zuagg. This time of the year can be depressing [failed resolutions, debts from Christmas]: I hear this in two different classes but then I go ahead and start feeling sluggly wuggly too.
I asked myself, after nap, "who am I serving?" Why am I trying to do everything on my own oatmeal? Do I count it joy when I didn't make Drama, Tech, Yearbook staff, Basketball [High School]?
There has never been the slightest doubt in my mind that the God who started this great work in you would keep at it and bring it to a flourishing finish on the very day Christ Jesus appears. Phil.1:6
Sunday, 22 January 2006
- I want to get a foundation in the required core classes; I want to lightly study English, Math, Science, History, Spanish, Greek, Hebrew, Latin; plus any other required classes or courses. Then I want focus on classicals, history, music, maybe counseling and philosophy, advertising, web designing or some type of electronic skill, carpentery, and other useful skills.
However, I feel that I need to get a degree in my major before I get too old: Mymajors include art, writing, and movies. The preceding three interests can be incorporated into a thing called "movie production." I may need to seek to be a vital part of a Christian Movie Organization.
I will start with applying to work at the Word Of Life Inn for one year [they call this the Gap program]. Either there or at another WOL faculty in this world. Then I want to go to college and earn my associative degree, perhaps in English; and then earn a degree in writing and art [plus be involved in drama experience, and in newspaper experience]. During this process I may sell out greeting cards to companies and such so that people will become aware of my talents. If I ever got into the Quaker Oats Company then I eventually put tracks in every single oatmeal box.
Let me not forget how God got me to WOLBI even when I don't deserve this Joy and Hope that is only in Jesus who saves anyone who does asks.
My future must be flexible, I must remember that I must be a tool for God and not for personal pleasure. I actually do want to work for WOL for a year: it would be an honor.
Wow, God has changed my heart; 13 months ago I was hating WOLBI because of the people and rules. God gets all the glory for changing the way I think and live. Giggles from Jesus.
I am still thinking that I have no idea what will happen next year, but I know God is in control.
Saturday, 21 January 2006
- I doubt that I'll go to the Valentine Banquet with anyone.
I have no money to apply for college. $35 is a lot.
College desire = presuppositional, dispensational, bible-based-tional, oatmeal-yum-tional, study-orientational.
Sunday, 08 January 2006
- College Search is teaching me to observe their claims to faith, along with the cost. Feel free to let me know of any college that I could be interested in; I am mainly interested in being a researching writer, with a side of a "movie-critic personale" and I love art, drama, history in the sense of understanding today's culture. I would love to apprentice in website designing or carpentry; I so love kids and I plan on creating a Job-Resume for others to view, so pray for wisdom for me and let me know if you see anything that I could look into.
Saturday, 07 January 2006
- Missionary conference burdens my heart to let people know that you can only get to Heaven by accepting Christ as Lord; yet the chatters among the people in-between each session sends out mix messages of "sure, but I'll worry about missionary-work some other day."
Monday, 02 January 2006
- Snow Camp Statement:
I would rather toil and boil in excelling as a counselor at WOLBI than to attend a party hardy oatmeal-snack girl-tacular fiesta; because it truly is joyful to serve a living God: if my house was on fire then I would want you to wake me up even if it offended and disturbed me deeply and therefore why is it bad to offend others in pursuit of waking them from eternal slumber and dying?
Sunday, 01 January 2006
- Christmas 2006
I was depressed at leaving Oregon, yet joy filled my mind because of the opportunity of reaching out to the thousands of teens during the coming eight weeks of Snow Camp. Why is Snow Camp important? Because we can show them the Key and Hope to life.
I left my black pants, $8 scissors, and my address book in Oregon despite thinking that I was responsible. I stayed at Dave Kelly's house and watched a few movies for the first time; they were: Passion of the Christ, Batman Begins, Ever After, A Walk To Remember, Spiderman, and Muppets From Space. I watched them all in two days and I had to pick only my favorites. Life is a journey, and joy is returning to my face again.
New Years Resolution? To be more positive; to seek to disciple rather than to complain; to seek balance in life rather than obsessions and emotions that leads to liberal religious activities that rots the heart of anything decent and sincere.
My break was the best of times and the worst of times [like a Tale of Two Cities] especially when I forgot how hard circumstances could be. My Dad seem to only gets worse as alcohol [sin] destroys a man who once was an excellence "landscaping carpenter" and hardcore basketball player alongside my 6'4" [or so] uncle Jim Williams who overcame the lifestyle of alcohol. My dad knows the Gospel in his head [not his heart] and he had wake up calls many times over the last 30 years; he never knew his father, was adopted at 2 but never knew it until he was 18, his adopted mom was a Mormon but dies when he was 26... He has gotten in bloody fights which ends in the hospital where he screams out ever cuss word in the book... he has gotten in car accidents and lost much blood due to alcohol... but above all he lied to my mom and pretended to be a Christian so that mom would marry him; now like Hose, mom witnesses to him almost nightly in word and in lifestyle even when she is risking her very life [however, due to health, she is not up to getting a job yet but she is in college]... he seem to only to had a bible because it was one of his girl friend's that died... he has seen his drinking friends die yet he blames God and minor incidents nearing the end of the death rather than the lifestyle.
I spent Christmas weekend with my Aunt Karen and Uncle Jim as we traveled to Roseburg, OR to spend time with grandparents... we talked and I learned a lot including some history of my parents and such...
My Christmas break was mainly consisting of me copying my stack of dozens of VHS tapes to DVD; I had laughs and tears; I was also built about 7 shelfs for my mom out of junkwood and a bendy hand-saw and limited nails; I hanged the shelfs to plastic-like walls that my trailer house is made of... Mom taught me a lot, and fed me incredible soup.
My dad knows the gospel only in the sense as a Historian would, yet he concludes that either God won't forgive or that he won't choose to trying to live perfectly to be accepted. Being drunk ever second of his life doesn't help when people try witnessing, and you can't work ever day of your life especially at the age of 56.
Dave Kelly truly is a caring person as he went out of his way to picking me up from the airport... yummy spaghetti, and meat rice stuff. Delightful.
Wednesday, 28 December 2005
- Drops of tears, fate some exposed; failure composed the ties: destiny at flies. Tears melting & oozing forth growth pelt pain.
Wednesday, 07 December 2005
- DVD player is pausing during play-back... ran out of my business cards... mom's soup is delicious... smell of pizza, girls, and other bakery foods, are compelling; what does oatmeal smell like? Junk food is a coveting idol.
Tuesday, 06 December 2005
- My dad's "girl friend" died from a heart attack last night while he was at the store buying wisky for her even when she was sick... he cursed God and said that it should have been him who died; yet mom tried comforting him. She told him, a month ago, that he would lose another one if he kept buying them alcohol... dad should see Narnia.
Wednesday, 23 November 2005
- What is the Meaning to my life? 1. ETERNAL HOPE:Escaping the wages to my sins was impossible, Rom.6:23, therefore I was doom to Hell forever and even trying to be good does nothing, Isa.64:6, but God gave us an Escape, JN.3:16; we get this escape and eternal hope by trusting that Christ paid for our sins, Rom.10:9, He paid for our sins on the cross, 1 Cor.15:3. Eternal hope is freely recieved, Eph.2:9, and after recieving the hope you can never lose it, JN.10:29
2. BEING REAL: After recieving freely the eternal hope by faith, I then inherited a new nature, 1 Cor.15:7, to live for the one who saved me. He has my back when He gave me His Holy Spirit, 1 JN.4:13; God is working in me and then through me,Phil.2:13, for His will and not my feelings. To share with others about the free Eternal hope that anyone can have and then determining to disciple everyone God puts in my, Matt.28:19
3. OUTREACH: Encourage them to then love others: 1 JN.4:19
Harry Ironside, Charge it to my account, from Philemon: Audio-Sermon
Monday, 21 November 2005
- VIDEO: hope despite 9/11 Twin Towers of New York: Watch it, listen:
http://www.worldtradehope.com/hopetwo.html - Have I ever fell in love? No, I'm certain that I only fall in lust. I always do have those FEELINGS that "this girl" or "that girl" would be "the one" but time after time I feel decieved by my feelings or that certain girl may disapear, die, move, or become a girl friend to someone else. Yet, wait upon the Lord.
Sunday, 20 November 2005
- Audio Sermons: Harry Bollback, Joe Jordan, Whitcomb, etc
http://www.mybibleteacher.com/
Saturday, 19 November 2005
- Audio Sermons includes Billy Graham, Corrie Ten Boom, AW Tozer, Warren Wiersbe, Kathryn Kuhman who faults in faith power of self, no Benny Hinn or Lordship Salvation or oatmeal or girls gone wild... DISCLAIMER: some sermons may go against what I believe.
http://sermons.christiansunite.com/ - I'm so thankful that God loves us even when we don't deserve it, Psalms 130.
- What makes you really tired in life?
My comrades appeared much tired after the all-night Superbowl in Springfield, ME. God however is sparring me, since I did take naps before and after the youth-saving activity while in the several hour van drive. One van broke down during their return back to WOLBI, so pray that they can learn patience, understandings, and flexibility to the trials that will bless our lives because God allowed extreme things to happen, but we must trust that He is smarter than we are.
I get tired when I am emotionally bent out of shape, when I feel sad, depressed, worthless, and without escape; apart from that I am endanger of not getting enough sleep, as seen from last night, because the joy of the Lord is my strength and I want to keep doing things for God without rest.
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