Disney Killed the Power Rangers & Star Wars?

2. Sistros, Yesterday at 9:59 PMReport

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3. Original OatmealEpisode VII Treatment Contest Winner

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   I have been watching through some review videos of the History of the Power Rangers (PR). I mention this because Disney purchased the Power Rangers around a decade ago for a few years. I compare how the Power Rangers was before Disney & during Disney. PR is on their 20th season, which started in the year 1993. When I was 10 years old in 1996, I made an hour long Power Rangers fan film with my family & friends in the ghetto.
   
   Disney moved the PR productions to New Zealand, in order to save money. During the tenth anniversary of the show, they wanted to have a huge reunion arch with all the previous teams from the last 10 years. Disney replied, "Why do you want to advertise old toys?" They ended up compromising by making a single reunion episode, as oppose to a 5-part episode arch. Later, Disney was planning on cancelling PR. Disney was going to just show reruns in order to save money. That is when somebody suggested making PR in New Zealand. People in New Zealand are not allowed to watch this show due to the excess violence.
   
   Disney gave the Power Rangers back to Saban.
   
   But Disney will surely keep Star Wars, forever, most likely.
   
   I really hope Disney does not mess things up with Star Wars.
   
   Did I really win the contest? Oh, wait, everybody won? But there will be a second round in this contest, right?

   
   

1. PrincessKenobi, May 17, 2013 at 8:36 AMReport

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2. PrincessKenobiE7 TOR SWTV Manager of Time and Space

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   Star Wars VII: Seduction
   
   Joon, the daughter of Luke Skywalker, is seen with hooded figures.
   
   Luke is not aware of this.
   
   Joon does questionable things to destroy the new jedi order and republic.
   
   I would rather keep the audience from knowing that Joon is related to Luke. In the 8th film, Luke can say to Joon, "I am your father, and join me and we can live a happy life since I already own this empire republic universe."
   
   Do not reveal who the people in the hoods are in the 7th film.
   
   Do not kill off Luke, Han, Leia, Lando, Chewie, in this next film.
   
   Kill off people that are less lovable

   I hate Theon Greyjoy.

   PrincessKenobi, May 17, 2013 at 8:37 AM

Treatment Contest Round 1

Discussion in 'Star Wars: Episode VII and Beyond' started by PrincessKenobi, May 17, 2013.

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Moderators: A Chorus of Disapproval, DarthBoba, eht13, Jedi Merkurian, mavjade, PrincessKenobi, sethg

1. PrincessKenobiE7 TOR SWTV Manager of Time and Space

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   In this thread we will post treatments and each user will be assigned a letter. We will give everyone a week to read them and then open it up to voting. While I am posting them this thread shall remain locked. Once it has all of them posted, I will unlock it.
   
   If you are going to comment please be kind and courteous.

   I hate Theon Greyjoy.

   PrincessKenobi, May 17, 2013 at 8:27 AMReport

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2. PrincessKenobiE7 TOR SWTV Manager of Time and Space

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   User A

   STAR WARS
   Episode VII
   The Jedi Heretics
   
   We begin as all Star Wars movies do - A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. The familiar fanfare of the Main Title accompanies the OPENING CRAWL as it ascends into a sea of stars:
   It is a time of peace in the Galactic Republic. The last remnants of the old Empire have been dismantled and several new worlds have rushed to join the flourishing union.
   Hoping to take advantage of the new prosperity, several pirate captains have banded together to ambush cargo ships along Outer Rim shipping lanes. 
   With the Republic slow to respond to the threat, the pirates roam unchallenged across the Outer Rim, raiding defenceless ships....
   
   
   We pan down to reveal a small cargo ship entering an unknown system. For a few moments, all seems well but out of nowhere, two modified Corellian freighters come out of Hyperspace, followed by a STAR DESTROYER. The small cargo ship tries desperately to avoid the barrage of fire as the two freighters force the cargo ship towards the old Imperial capital ship. The Star Destroyer locks a tractor beam onto the cargo ship and hauls it into the docking bay. As soon as the ship is on board, the Star Destroyer jumps into Hyperspace, followed by the two freighters.
   
   Inside the Star Destroyer, a skeleton crew is operating the ship. A half dozen pirates surround the cargo ship, weapons drawn. The leader orders whoever is on board to come out quietly or he and his men will go in shooting. We hear some rustling inside the ship, a few whispers and then two men descend the cargo ship ramp. One is older, mid-40’s, overweight. The other, a young, handsome man with an unmistakably sly grin. The pirate leader asks if it’s just the two of them and the older man nods in the affirmative. The Star Destroyer seems to shudder for a moment and the young man comments that they must have come out of hyperspace. The pirate leader tells him to shut up and then orders that they be checked for weapons. But when one of the pirates searches the young man, he finds something unexpected. Not one - but TWO LIGHTSABERS. The pirate has no time to react as the young man, a JEDI KNIGHT, ignites his lightsabers and goes to work taking out the pirates.
   
   Meanwhile, the Star Destroyer having arrived at home base - an abandoned asteroid mine, is ill-prepared as a fleet of Republic ships emerges from Hyperspace and begin engaging the pirate ships. It’s as if the capture of the cargo ship had been a trap - of course it was.
   
   Cutting back and forth, we follow the battle in space between the pirate ships, including the Star Destroyer, and the Republic, and the adventure of our young Jedi Knight and his companion, now holding his blaster and firing at everything that moves, as they fight their way towards the bridge.
   
   On the bridge of the Star Destroyer, the self-titled “Pirate Lord” can only panic and prepare a last line of defence as the Jedi cuts through his limited pirate force while outside, the space battle rages. Pirate ships come swarming out of the asteroid mine. Some join the battle, many choose to flee, abandoning their leader. Cutting through the blast doors, our young Jedi Knight makes it to the bridge and makes short work of the Pirate Lords personal guard. Ever the negotiator, the pirate lord tries to strike a deal but the Jedi Knight tells him to sit down and shut up, before taking control of the weapons station and aiming the turbolasers at the pirate ships. After that, whatever chance the pirates had is gone and those who remain surrender.
   
   One wipe transition later, the commander of the Republic fleet, General Antilles, finds himself on the bridge of the Star Destroyer, ready to take the ship in for decommissioning and take custody of the Pirate Lord. It’s here that we finally learn the identity of our young Jedi Knight - DEL SKYWALKER. General Antilles informs Del that with his assignment over, he must be happy to be returning to Coruscant to see his parents but Del flinches slightly at the mention of his father.
   
   Speaking of Coruscant, that’s our next stop. We find ourselves on the roof of the JEDI TEMPLE, watching a young woman, no older than 17, holding a lightsaber in her hand, but not just any lightsaber. It’s Luke’s lightsaber from RETURN OF THE JEDI. Her eyes are covered and she is surrounded by hovering training remotes. The remotes fire at random, all aiming at the woman and though she can’t see, she gracefully dodges and deflects every blaster stinger fired at her. Well, all but one. Her frustration at not blocking them all is obvious but her teacher tells her to calm herself. It’s time for our first look at LUKE SKYWALKER. Luke is old. His years of experience and growing wisdom are etched on his bearded face. But much like his old teacher, Ben Kenobi, Luke’s demeanour is calm and reassuring. We quickly learn that the young woman is called ANNA SOLO and she is the daughter of HAN and LEIA. Luke tells Anna to try the exercise again as a young Republic officer delivers a message to Luke. Overhearing, Anna’s excitement is unmistakable as she learns that Del is coming home. Forgetting herself, she starts to rush back inside the temple but eventually thinks better of it and apologises to Luke, giving him back his lightsaber. He simply smiles and tells her to go. After a quick kiss on her uncle’s cheek, Anna makes her way inside, leaving Luke behind to stare out at the Coruscant skyline.
   
   
   A Note About Jedi: So I should explain the status of the Jedi Order. There isn’t one. In the time since the defeat of the Empire, a few Jedi survivors of Order 66 have emerged but it was decided that recreating the Jedi Order was not a wise move, that the Jedi needed to choose their own paths. Some Jedi wander the galaxy, studying the Force, perhaps helping people along the way, others choose to serve as ambassadors or in other roles for the Republic, both civilian and military. The Jedi meet once every 5 years or so, basically to swap stories and talk about the Force and what they can do to aid the galaxy. But with the Force back in balance, Jedi are free to make their own way in life. Some may even get married though most choose not to pursue romantic relationships. The Jedi can be called together during a crisis, but only by another Jedi Master. They no longer fall under the command of the Senate. The idea is for the Jedi to get back to a simpler existence of serving the will of the Force and protecting the galaxy without being a centralised force within a bureaucracy.
   
   Back to our story: We find ourselves in the apartment of LEIA SOLO. Like her brother, Leia is older and bears the look of a woman who has been through a hell of a lot. Leia has long since retired from the world of politics and rebellions. THREEPIO and ARTOO are there to keep her company. The apartment door opens and Anna (maybe Ana) bursts in. She does a quick search of the apartment and asks where “he” is. Leia has no idea who Anna is talking about and her daughter confirms she’s talking about Del, that he’s back on Coruscant. Leia is surprised to hear of Del’s return but the sound of a speeder landing outside alerts both women. Anna can’t contain her excitement and rushes out to meet him on the landing pad, giving him a huge hug. Leia follows and Del soon comes face to face with his mother. Yes. Del Skywalker was born Del Solo. He is the older brother of Anna and the son of Han and Leia. Anna takes his hand and starts to drag him inside, demanding to know of his adventures in the Outer Rim. Del hesitates but eases up when Leia informs him that Han isn’t there. Speaking of Han...
   
   Our next stop is a bar. I say a bar, it makes the Mos Eisley cantina look posh by comparison. We’re in the lower levels of Coruscant, the kind of place you only go to for two reasons - to pick a fight or pick a coffin. Han just likes the atmosphere. And that’s where we find him. He stands at the bar, ordering two drinks. He downs the first one immediately and turns to take the second one back to his booth. As he turns, he bumps into one of the bar patrons. The patron spills his drink and it’s immediately obvious that he’s not happy. He’s there to pick a fight and Han has now become his target. Han decides to offer to buy the patron a new drink but the patron isn’t having any of it. He wants to fight. Han warns him that his Wookiee friend might have something to say about that. The patron thinks he’s bluffing of course but a low growl from behind him informs him otherwise. Making quick apologies, the patron backs away from Han and the Wookiee, the mighty CHEWBACCA (Chewie Lives!). Chewie and Han return to their booth to find someone waiting for them. It’s Luke. Luke tells Han that his son is back home. Han’s reaction isn’t one of a joyous father. Through the conversation that follows, we learn that Han didn’t approve of Del going into military service when his Jedi training was done or joining up with “Lando’s damn crusade.” But when Del took the name Skywalker, apparently to spite his father...well they’ve hardly spoken since. Luke of course spouts some Jedi wisdom, recalling the difficulties between fathers and sons, making a not so subtle reference to his own father. Before Han can make any kind of reply, the disgruntled patron returns, this time with some friends. Han asks Luke if he brought his lightsaber, Luke nods and Han tells him to “keep it in your pocket.” Luke can’t help but smile and as Han tells Chewie to try not to pull anyone’s head from their neck, the bar patron and his friends strike and we find ourselves in an old fashioned bar fight. The fight goes on for a little while with Han throwing punches, Chewie throwing people and Luke successfully dodging every attack, not striking back but causing his opponents to trip themselves up. But with the fight getting out of control and the patron pulling out a hidden blaster to shoot Han in the back, Luke uses the Force to pull the blaster away and then ignites his lightsaber. The familiar hum and glow from the blade causes the bar fight to come to a screeching halt. Han, having found himself on the floor, sarcastically congratulates Luke as he picks himself up. Luke comments that “it used to be me on the floor” and the people in the bar whisper about the Jedi and clear a path as the trio make their way towards the exit. Han decides they’d better go to see his son.
   
   Back in the apartment, Han, Luke and Chewie enter, Han bearing a couple of bruises from the fight but nothing serious. Leia sees the bruises immediately and admonishes him for getting into another fight, telling him that he’s too old to do such foolish things, to which Han replies “foolish things are all I’ve got left.” Leia shakes her head but she can’t hide her smile, Han’s charm as effective on her now as it ever was. When Del and Anna enter the room, the tension rises. Both men are standoffish and stubborn and apparently both equally as reckless when it comes to playing the odds. They exchange a little small-talk but it’s obvious that neither of them are comfortable, something made all the worse when Threepio answers a call at the door and LANDO CALRISSIAN makes his entrance.
   
   Lando has moved up in the world and now sits in the big chair as President of the Galactic Republic. Oh yeah! Lando is president. Lando’s presidency has seen him oversee the final decommissioning of the Imperial fleet. But with the massive Imperial military now gone and no Jedi Order to protect the Republic, Lando established a special task force to combat specific threats such as the pirate fleet and tapped Del to join the task force when he completed his Jedi training. Han of course knows that the kinds of missions Lando had in mind aren’t necessarily above board, basically suspecting that Lando has created a black ops unit. This is much of the reason Del and Han fell out and while Del claimed to be taking the Skywalker name to preserve its legacy, in truth, he also wanted to piss off his dad.
   
   So when Lando enters, it isn’t the happiest of reunions. In fact, ever since entering galactic politics, Lando has drifted away from his old friends. Lando initially insists that he’s merely there to welcome Del home after a job well done, Han can see through the facade and insists that Lando come clean. Lando eventually admits that there is a matter of some concern he wishes to speak to Del about, but also Luke. Lando wants to speak with them in private but Luke, perhaps sensing Han’s growing impatience and anger, insists that Lando speak openly.
   
   Lando explains that Republic intelligence has been monitoring a world just beyond Republic space. It seems the planet is home to a strange Force cult that is growing in number by the day and is filled with species the galactic library has no record of. Anna asks if they could be Sith but Lando admits that he doesn’t know what they are. He wants a small team to land on the planet, infiltrate the cult and find out what they’re up to and most importantly, if they’re dangerous. Luke volunteers to go but Lando informs him that he’s too high profile and if the cult is a threat, Luke needs to be here to co-ordinate a gathering of the Jedi if the need arises. So Del steps forward. Both Han and Leia immediately say it’s too dangerous but Del has made up his mind. Anna wants to go with him but Del tells her to stay and finish her training. Lando tells Han not to worry, his son won’t be alone but his words do little to sway Han’s mood.
   
   We cut to a familiar sight - the cargo ship from the beginning of the movie. Del says goodbye to Luke and to his sister and his mother. He and Han barely exchange a word before Del boards the ship, joining the other four members of the team. Del is the only Jedi. As the ship takes off, Anna comments: “I’ve got a bad feeling about this...” and while Han doesn’t respond, it’s clear he’s thinking the same thing. Luckily, Leia insisted that Del take Artoo with him. Having the luckiest droid in the galaxy on board can’t be a bad thing.
   
   As the cargo ship enters hyperspace, we spend a little time getting to know the other members of the task force, including Del’s partner from the opening sequence. His name is SETH DRAZE and he’s a weapons specialist and a professional pragmatist. RISTO LOTT is a communications and tech expert and a little paranoid to boot. KENDO, a Rodian, deals mostly with explosives, a job that’s made him a little twitchy. VAL MADINE, daughter of General Crix Madine, is one of the best pilots Del has ever seen and his closest friend. Val is a potential love interest for Del moving forward over the three films. If the old adage about guys ultimately marrying their mothers is true, a Del/Val romance makes sense. Val is a lot like Leia as she was in A NEW HOPE. She’s got a lot of spirit, she’s as stubborn as a Dug, she’s smart and witty enough to go toe to toe in a banter contest with anyone and not only is she one of the best pilots in the galaxy, you’d better believe she knows it.
   
   Back on Coruscant, Anna is still frustrated that she wasn’t allowed to join her brother on the mission. Luke tells her that she has a mission of her own to complete. It’s time for her to finally build her own lightsaber. Anna can’t hide her excitement. Luke tells her that it will involve a long and arduous journey across the galaxy to collect the parts but much to Luke’s surprise, Anna tells him that she already has the parts. She’s been collecting everything she needs for years, and Luke realises that perhaps he’s kept her waiting a little too long.
   
   We next find ourselves in deep space. The cargo ship comes blasting out of Hyperspace and starts flying towards a planet in the distance. Val is at the controls with Seth in the copilot seat. Seth comments that he’s not picking up any transmissions from the planet but there does seem to be a one large congregation of life forms centred around one area of an otherwise lifeless planet. They fly into the atmosphere and suddenly the instruments light up and the scanners are now picking up thousands of signals. It seems someone had been jamming transmissions going off world.
   
   The cargo ship lands on the outskirts of a large settlement, really a city. There is no plant or animal life outside the city. In fact the whole planet looks like a barren wasteland. Del, Seth and Kendo depart, leaving Risto and Val on board the ship. As they approach the city walls, a guard stops them and asks “Who Comes Seeking The Glorious One?” Unsure how to respond, Del uses a JEDI MIND TRICK and the guard simply responds “Glory To You.” Shrugging, the trio enter the city. What they find is a vibrant city, brimming with activity. Every known species in the galaxy is represented and some species that are unknown. Kendo notes that all of the guards and officials appear to belong to a single species that he has never seen before. They make their way through the market district and are stopped by a vendor, trying to sell them food. Del picks out some fruit, hoping to use the transaction as a means of gaining information, but when he tries to hand over a few credits to pay, the vendor refuses to take payment, explaining that “the glorious one provides” and “all is repaid in dust.” When Seth asks where the fruit comes from, given that it’s a barren planet, the vendor only replies that “the glorious one provides.” A small crowd starts to build up behind them. The vendor, having realised that the trio are new to the city, ushers them to join the crowd and “witness.” Del asks what they are to witness and the vendor replies “penance.” The trio follow the vendor through the crowd, which has formed a circle. In the centre, one guard strips away a man’s shirt while another guard holds what can be best described as a lightsaber-whip or a Lightwhip. The man, with his back turned to the second guard, holds out his arms and the second guard cracks the lightwhip against his back, searing the flesh. Kendo asks what the man did to deserve such punishment and the Vendor replies that he stole. Del follows up and asks how he could steal if everything is free and the Vendor responds that “nothing can be taken. Only given.” Throughout the public whipping, the thief remains absolutely silent, even as his flesh is burned away by the whip. After seven lashes, the punishment is over and some people emerge from the crowd, dressed in ceremonial robes, to take him away. The Vendor explains that the man will be healed, that even the most sinful, even the heretics can be healed but only after facing judgement. Del asks who these so called Heretics are but the Vendor shakes his head and informs them that it isn’t spoken of for to speak of them is to dishonour the glorious one. The ringing of a loud bell causes the vendor to perk up and he pulls on Del’s robe, prompting him to follow. “Come here The Voice of the glorious one and be enlightened by his words.”
   
   Anna and Luke enter the top spire of the Jedi temple, once the Council Chamber for the old Jedi Order. Now there are no chairs. The room is empty, save for the magnificent view of Coruscant through the windows. Luke prompts Anna to sit on the floor in the centre of the room and lay the pieces of what will become her lightsaber down in front of her. She does as asked and Luke tells her to meditate until the blade builds itself. She nods and Luke turns to leave, telling her that she must do this alone. Anna nods and closes her eyes as Luke exits. She starts to meditate, remaining still for a few moments. Quickly getting impatient, she opens one eye and looks down to find the lightsaber parts still scattered on the floor. Sighing to herself, Anna goes back to meditating.
   
   Back on the barren world, a massive crowd has gathered in a large square in the centre of the city. Del, Seth and Kendo stand in the crowd, facing a large stone temple with an open balcony. The trio ask the Vendor they met earlier what’s going on. He tells them the “voice of the glorious one” will soon be heard. Another chime from the loud bell, the source of which is the temple, causes the soft whispers and chatter in the crowd to cease. A cloaked figure emerges, his arms outstretched like a high priest come to bless his congregation. Del asks if that’s the “glorious one.” The Vendor replies: “No, stupid. That’s The Voice. Now be quiet and be moved by his words. The high priest, known as The Voice commands the crowd to listen. He tells them that the time when all heresies will be cleansed will soon be at hand, but that first, one of their own, one who has fallen and received penance shall be blessed and returned to the fold. The punished man from earlier steps forward, the scars on his back are fresh. The Voice asks him if he is penitent and the man replies that he is. The Voice then calls for witnesses to his penance to vouch for him, and voices within the crowd belonging to those present during the whipping do so. The Voice then accepts the man’s penance and moves his hands over the scars, which miraculously begin to heal. Soon, the man is good as new and he tells The Voice: “Glory To You” and The Voice responds in kind. The man then descends the temple steps and rejoins his family in the crowd.
   
   The ceremony continues as The Voice speaks to the crowd once again. He talks about “the heretics” spouting false wisdom and poisoning the minds of the lost. All who have been touched by their blasphemies must be cleansed or be forever burned. The Voice then proclaims that even as he speaks, heretics would dare to walk among them. He makes a gesture to the guards and Del, Kendo and Seth can only watch as Val and Risto are dragged out onto the balcony in chains. Del reaches under his robes, gripping the hilts of both lightsabers but Seth prompts him to do nothing. There’s too many to fight. The Voice calls the prisoners heretics and followers of false prophets but says if they are penitent they can be cleansed but if they will not renounce their heresy, they will be burned. The Voice then asks the crowd who will vouch for them. Nobody does. Instead, the crowd turns on Val and Risto, cursing them and calling on them to be burned. The Voice tells them to quieten down and asks if no one will vouch for them, explaining that if none step forward, their fate will be sealed. Kendo asks what they should do and Del says they have no choice. He then calls out: “I will vouch for them.” A surprised gasp sweeps over the crowd. Those surrounding the trio step away from them, including the Vendor who immediately starts calling them heretics as he tries to weasel his way out of sharing whatever punishment they receive. The crowd parts and Del, Kendo and Seth stand alone.
   
   The Voice smiles and asks them to come forward. They do so cautiously, making sure to take note of where the guards are. The Voice asks if they know the heretics and Del responds that they’re his friends. Amused, The Voice asks who he is and he replies, “Del Skywalker.” Another gasp, followed by incessant whispers fall on the crowd. The Voice asks - “A Skywalker...?” and Del responds affirmatively. The Voice continues - “And tell me...Skywalker...are you a Jedi?” Del replies: “I am!” The whispers in the crowd are replaced by calls of “heretic” and “Blasphemer” and a whole host of insults and accusations. The Voice, apparently delighted at the turn of events, proclaims that a false prophet walks among them. Del spies the guards closing in and grips his lightsabers, ready to ignite them but The Voice calls on the guards to hold their positions. With a touch of sarcasm, The Voice asks if Del is a master of the Force. Del replies that nobody is a master of the Force and The Voice seems to agree, but then proclaims that only “the glorious one” has true mastery of the Force. Now that Del is close to The Voice he can see that The Voice is an unknown alien, like the guards. He asks if The Voice is a Sith Lord and The Voice laughs, explaining that both Sith and Jedi are heretics who have turned from the true nature of the Force and abused its power to spread false prophecies of dark and light on the galaxy. Only the Glorious One has the divine right to witness and understand the true nature of the Force and wield its true power. All who have followed the teachings of these false prophets must be cleansed. Del immediately realises that The Voice is talking about going to war with the galaxy. The Voice confirms this and calls it a holy crusade. Those who won’t be cleansed of their heresy will meet death. Del merely states: “there is no death” and The Voice agrees but “only for those who accept the true will of the Force.”
   
   The Voice notices that Del still has his hands close to his blades and asks if the Jedi Knight means to fight everyone. Del replies that he wishes to fight no one. It’s not the Jedi way. He only wants to take his friends and go. The Voice asks if he believes the Jedi way is strongest and Del replies that the Jedi way is the only way he knows and it’s never failed him. The Voice seems intrigued and proposes a contest. The Jedi will face three of The Voice’s best warriors in combat. If he wins, he and his friends will be allowed to leave, having proven that the Jedi way is stronger than the way of the Glorious One. But if he loses, he and his friends will be cleansed of their blasphemy and they will renounce their false ways or burn for their heresy.
   
   Del reluctantly agrees and the crowd begins to move backwards, creating an arena to do battle in. Two guards step forward. One holding a lightwhip, the other holding an energy-staff. A hush falls as the fight begins. Del finds himself having to dodge the lashes of the whip while the energy-staff is expertly handled, landing blow after blow. Each strike of the staff sends electricity through Del’s body, causing a sharp pain and slowing his reaction time to the whip, which sears through his skin. The fight is intense. Seth struggles throughout, his two lightsabers being used brilliantly but still just barely enough to keep him in one piece. As the fight goes on, people in the crowd heckle him and cheer the two guards. But when Del manages to calm himself and call on the Force, he manages to evade and counter against his attackers and ultimately defeat them. Holding his blade against his fallen opponents, Del looks up at The Voice who has remained on the balcony with the prisoners (who now include Kendo and Seth) and reminds The Voice that the challenge was three warriors, not two. The Voice smiles at the arrogance and proclaims that he himself is the third warrior and he descends from the balcony.
   
   Unlike the two guards, The Voice is highly attuned to the Force with as much skill as a Jedi Master. The battle between Del and The Voice begins with The Voice holding no weapon. Del attacks but The Voice dodges every single strike and uses the Force to attack. Even as Del swings with two blades, it’s becoming quickly obvious that he is no match for The Voice. Then, as The Voice strips him of his lightsabers and lifts him off the ground, he has a change of heart and drops Del, proclaiming that it is not a fair fight since The Voice was taught by the Glorious One himself and his powers of the Force are greater than any Jedi. So The Voice picks up Del’s lightsabers and hands one to his opponent, keeping the other for himself, decreeing that they should settle this the way the Jedi and Sith of old fought. Blade against blade.
   
   The Voice invites Del to make the first move and Del obliges, opening with a flurry of fierce attacks, getting The Voice on the back foot. His friends, watching from the balcony cheer as Del seems to have the upper hand. But as fast and precise as Del is, he can’t land a fatal strike. As the battle goes on, it’s obvious that The Voice is toying with him and when he eventually strikes back, Del doesn’t stand a chance and it isn’t long before the young Jedi is utterly defeated, his lightsaber broken, his body lacking the energy to stand. Del collapses into unconsciousness as The Voice stands over him. Looking up at Del’s friends, The Voice smiles and tells them not to be afraid for they will soon be cleansed of the deceptions of Jedi.
   
   On Coruscant, Anna continues to meditate. The pieces of her lightsaber lift off the floor and float around her. The lightsaber begins to slowly take shape but she starts to hear voices, some unknown, some familiar but distorted. What’s clear is that someone is in pain. Unable to bear it, she opens her eyes and sees a completed lightsaber floating in front of her. But as soon as she reaches out to grab it, it collapses into pieces and falls. Anna curses to herself and starts again.
   
   Deep within the stone temple on the barren world, the five companions are chained up against the wall. Del is barely conscious and the others are worried about him. Risto explains that The Voice’s men swarmed all over the ship. They seemed to come out of the ground and they were everywhere. Seth asks if they managed to get a message back to Coruscant but Val explains that the Artoo couldn’t breakthrough the jamming field surrounding the planet, but he did manage to pinpoint the source of the field as the spire at the top of the temple. If they could take that out, they’d be able to send a message. Unfortunately they’re chained up. A barely conscious Del asks what happened to Artoo and Val says she left him deactivated in the cargo hold when the ship was attacked but that when he “wakes up” he should fly the ship back to the Republic and get help...if they haven’t destroyed the ship. The sound of a door opening prompts them to be quiet and The Voice enters the cell. He goes straight to Del and Val screams at The Voice to leave him alone. Understanding that Val cares for Del, The Voice assures her that he means no harm and as if to demonstrate his benevolence, he moves his hands over Del’s body, healing his wounds. Del regains full consciousness and The Voice proceeds to talk about the heresy of the Jedi, once again calling them false prophets. Del comments that he’s never seen his species before or such mastery of the Force. The Voice can only laugh and ask if Del really thought the Force was confined to this galaxy alone. He says the Glorious One showed him the true nature of the Force and that the galaxy must be made to see and accept the truth of his wisdom.
   
   Risto asks how he intends to do that and The Voice talks of a holy crusade against the heretics, to redeem or destroy them. Del realises that he means all out war, an invasion of the galaxy from a force outside and exclaims that the Republic won’t stand by and let it happen. The Voice then explains that the Republic has no army. The Jedi, as few as there are, are scattered across the galaxy and with each world The Glorious One “frees” from heresy, their inhabitants will join the cause as they are cleansed and if they refuse, they will burn. Val asks what happens if the whole galaxy refuses to join this crusade and The Voice responds: then the whole galaxy shall burn.” He tells them to rest, that tomorrow, they will face their penance and be cleansed.
   
   Outside the city, in the cargo hold of the ship, Artoo comes to life. He wanders around the ship but there is nobody on board. Rolling into the cockpit, Artoo connects with the ship computer and tries to start up the ship but nothing happens. He rolls back towards the engine room and sees that the engine has been completely destroyed. Artoo sighs in the way only Artoo can, and returns to the cargo hold, opening the landing ramp. Rolling down the ramp, Artoo begins to travel towards the city under the cover of darkness.
   
   In the Jedi Temple, Anna continues to meditate. The Voices are louder now, clearer. She hears the unmistakable sound of her brother, crying out in pain. With her eyes still closed, she reaches out with her hand and grasps her now complete lightsaber. She switches it on and only when she hears the hum of her blade does she open her eyes and look. Satisfied, she switches off the blade and rushes outside the council chamber to the balcony, where Luke is waiting. He starts to congratulate her on completing her task but Anna interrupts him and tells him of her vision and that her brother needs help. Luke tells her that it isn’t wise to rush into the unknown, something he knows from experience but nevertheless he closes his eyes and reaches out with the Force. He sees and hears what Anna saw, but then something more, something deeper, a hidden threat. Anna asks what he saw, if he saw Del, and Luke responds that he did, but he saw something else, as if the Force itself was crying out for help. Anna pleads with Luke to help Del and Luke agrees but first he needs to find his nephew and there’s one man who knows how.
   
   We cut to the office of the President of the Republic. A guard stands outside, blocking entry. Luke, Anna and Han show up, demanding to speak with Lando but the guard refuses to let him in. Luke starts to step forward but Han intervenes and punches the guard. Luke says he could have used a mind trick but Han says “my way’s faster.” They burst in to President Calrissian’s office and Han starts demanding to know where exactly Lando sent his son. Lando is taken aback by the sudden appearance of his old friends but Han says he doesn’t have time for games grabs Lando by the shirt collar. Two Republic guards step forward, Luke ignites his lightsaber. Lando calls the guards off and tells everyone to calm down. Luke explains that there’s far more going on than a group of cultists. He senses something deeper. Lando comments that the team haven’t checked in with their handlers and Han demands that Lando send the cavalry. But Lando starts to explain that the Republic has no army to speak of and the small fleet that exists is busy mopping up pirates. All remnants of the old Empire are gone. Han declares that he’ll go then and Luke and Anna both volunteer to join him. Lando ponders this and Han says: “Lando, he’s my son.” Lando concedes and agrees to give them the co-ordinates and says he’ll try to get them a ship but Han declines saying: “No thanks. I’ve got my own.”
   
   Artoo approaches the gates of the city. The guard on duty is fast asleep and Artoo just rolls on by. The sound of his motors cause the guard to wake up and Artoo freezes, hiding just inside the gate, covered in shadow. The guard looks out into the wasteland and sees nothing, then resumes his nap. Artoo continues forward into the city. The streets are quiet. A few people are mulling around as well as a few droids and no one takes any notice. Artoo moves through the streets, heading towards the temple, taking care to avoid any suspicious guards.
   
   It’s just like old times as Han and Chewie take their places in the cockpit of the MILLENNIUM FALCON. Luke enters behind them, worried about whether or not the old ship will even fly. Han assures him that it will but even he doesn’t seem too sure. He powers up the ship - and the engines stall. He tries again and on the second attempt, after a little sweet-talking to the old ship, some annoyed growls from Chewie and a well-placed kick or two, the ship comes to life. Han offers a wry smile to a nervous Luke and the Falcon takes off, rocketing high over Coruscant and out into space. Luke goes back to the passenger section, where Anna is sitting and strapping herself in. Luke asks if she’s ready and Anna replies that it’s too late to turn back now. With the Hyperspace co-ordinates locked in, Han presses forward on the lever and the ship disappears into Hyperspace.
   
   In the old temple, the harsh morning sun illuminates the cell our heroes are being held in. They all remain chained to the wall. The doors open and The Voice enters, flanked by two guards. He points to Val and Del and commands that they be taken. Risto demands to know where his friends are being taken and The Voice assures them that they will have their chance to be cleansed soon enough. Val and Del are dragged away out of the cell.
   
   Elsewhere in the temple, Artoo rolls along, making sure not to draw any attention to himself. He comes across an intersection with two separate paths. Scanning the area, Artoo makes a decision and turns left but after rolling a few feet, he stops and scans again, looking back down the right-side path. After hesitating for a few moments Artoo turns around and starts going right.
   
   In a room looking out over the temple, The Voice sees the crowds begin to gather. Del and Val are in chains and led to the window so that they can see for themselves. The Voice calls the crowd witnesses to their penance and that they must accept the truth and embrace the Glorious One. He calls on the guards to prepare them for the cleansing and they are taken away.
   
   Artoo approaches a door. Rolling to the computer terminal nearby, he opens the door and finds Seth, Risto and Kendo chained up inside. He quickly frees them and they have to decide what to do. They ask Artoo if their ship is intact and while they can’t understand his response, they infer what he is saying from the seemingly sad tone. They need to call for help but they also need to help Del and Val. Kendo and Seth decide to go and help them while Risto goes with Artoo to find the source of the jamming signal.
   
   Elsewhere in the system, the Millennium Falcon appears from Hyperspace and begins flying towards the planet. Han comments that the Falcon’s scanners are picking up life forms but no transmissions. Luke tries to sense his nephew through the Force but fails, saying he felt a great emptiness around the planet.
   
   In the temple square, the crowds have gathered and Del and Val are being led out. They are strung up and prepared to be whipped. Two guards stand behind them, holding lightwhips, awaiting The Voice’s orders.
   
   Above them, Kendo and Seth tackle a couple of guards and take their weapons. They look down on the proceedings with no idea what to do.
   
   The Voice is about to speak to the crowd when a loyal guard approaches him and tells him that they’ve picked up a ship entering the system and it’s heading towards the planet. The Voice reaches out through the Force and we intercut with Luke aboard the Falcon as he feels a dark tremor. Anna senses it too but she’s not sure what she’s sensing. On the planet, The Voice allows himself a wry smile and tells the guards to prepare his warriors. The guard asks how many squads and The Voice confirms “all of them.”
   
   Elsewhere in the temple, Risto and Artoo make their way towards the source of the jamming. Risto attempts to go down one path but Artoo starts rocking back and forth in frustration, beeping and whistling, trying to get Risto to follow him. Risto eventually relents and follows the little droid until they reach a large room filled with the aliens manning computer stations as well as numerous guards. They’ve found their target but there are a lot of guards and Risto isn’t sure what to do.
   
   Meanwhile Kendo and Seth look on as The Voice begins speaking to the crowd about cleansing the heretics. He orders the lightwhip-holding guards to begin administering the penance on Val and Del. The guards activate the lightwhips and begin lashing Val and Del. There are too many guards for Kendo and Seth to take on. They can only watch, powerless to act.
   
   In space, the Falcon flies towards the planet, following the vague life signs appearing in one area of a southern continent, having no idea what they’ll find.
   
   In the communications centre, Risto and Artoo walk straight in and are immediately confronted by the watch commander who demands to know why they are there. Risto starts making up a story about fixing a faulty array but when the commander doesn’t buy it, he does the only thing he can think of and punches out the commander. As this happens, Artoo springs into life and activates his fire extinguisher to cover the room in gas. Risto grabs a blaster from the downed commander and starts shooting as Artoo uses every tool at his disposal to take on all comers. The commotion doesn’t go unnoticed in the square below. The Voice orders a squad of guards to secure the communications room and then continues to watch the whipping as the proclaims that Del and Val should renounce their heresies.
   
   Kendo and Seth use the distraction to get down among the crowd and start working their way towards the centre where their friends are.
   
   When the gas clears in the communications centre, the guards and personnel are down and Artoo is plugging into the computer as Risto tries to unlock the system and disable the jamming to send a message out. But the language is completely alien to him and some of the systems are beyond anything he’s seen. He does recognise one read out on a monitor, showing an incoming ship but he doesn’t know how to contact them. As he tries to figure things out, he hears the footsteps of guards incoming. Artoo unplugs from the terminal and starts to leave. At first Risto doesn’t know what he’s up to but the flashing warning signals are clear in any language. Artoo has set the whole thing to overload. Risto rushes out after the “crazy little droid” ducking down a side stairwell as the squad of guards come up the main stairs. They enter the communications centre to find bodies on the floor and every monitor flashing. One of the guards tries to rush to a console to stop the overload but he’s far too late as the whole room explodes in a flash of light.
   
   The explosion tears a huge hole in the side of the temple and draws the attention of the crowd gathered below. Falling debris causes the crowds to begin to scatter. Seeing their chance, Seth and Kendo make their way to the balcony where Val and Del are chained and being beaten and whipped. They shoot their way through the crowd and manage to reach their comrades, reassuring them that they’ll get them out of there. But The Voice hasn’t moved. He hasn’t panicked. Stretching out through the Force, he lifts Kendo into the air. Then, revealing Del’s one remaining lightsaber under his robe, The Voice ignites the blade and uses it to impale Kendo. He then turns to Seth and with a creepy smile, he uses the Force to slam Seth hard against a far wall. By now, the crowd have stopped running and are now watching their leader in awe. He tells them that more heretics are coming. The greatest blasphemer of all will soon be on their doorstep and they must defend their sacred temple and strike the heretic down. The crowd, completely loyal, immediately sets about fortifying the city walls, gathering weapons and manning turrets.
   
   On the Falcon, the ship is now picking up transmissions without any issues and immediately flies the ship towards the source. Soon, the Falcon is flying towards the ancient city. But the turrets on the city walls begin firing and Han has to do some fancy flying just to stay in the air. Outside the city walls. Dozens of warriors emerge from beneath the ground and start firing their own weapons upwards. The ship is immediately surrounded by laser fire and losing its deflector shield, fast. Luke tells Han to lower the ramp. Han tells him he’s crazy, Luke says he’s probably right. Anna gets up to go with Luke and Luke tries to tell her to stay behind but she’s not having any of it. It’s her brother out there and she’s going. With no time for debates, Luke reluctantly agrees. Luke and Anna make their way to the ramp. They grip their lightsabers and leap down into the swarm of warriors. Igniting their sabers, both Jedi stand back to back, deflecting blaster bolts and cutting down any warriors that manage to come near. With the warriors preoccupied, Han lands the Falcon out of range of the turrets and tells Chewie to stay with the ship. Chewie doesn’t agree but Han tells him to keep it running because he’s got a feeling they’re going to have to make a fast getaway. Han exits the ship in pursuit of Luke and Anna, blaster at the ready.
   
   Inside the city, The Voice senses what’s happening outside and comments, seemingly to himself that “he’s here.” He seems to be talking to himself, asking questions about what he should do and then answering questions that haven’t been asked.
   
   Artoo and Risto make their way down through the temple. They encounter a few guards but most of the guards have gone outside to deal with the attackers. Risto tells Artoo that the next time he decides to blow up a room, warn him first, as he tries to stop his ears from ringing.
   
   Luke and Anna move towards the city, cutting their way through alien warriors, some armed with blasters, many armed with energy-staffs. One warrior manages to get the drop on Anna, coming up from the ground under her feet but before he can strike, he’s shot in the back by Han. Eventually the warriors are all dealt with and the trio move towards the city gate. Han asks what the plan is and Luke replies: “The plan? Shoot first.” Two guards at the gate prepare to fight. Han shoots one of them dead. The other gets a shot off but Anna deflects the blaster shot back into him.
   
   Three turrets on the city walls are now pointed at them. Luke and Anna work together with an awesome display of power, crushing all three turrets. Luke, Han and Anna enter the city, weapons drawn. On the balcony at the far edge of the temple square, The Voice commands the crowd to part and let them pass. Han comments about how severely outnumbered they are and Luke reminds him that they’ve faced worse. As they enter the temple square, they see Seth lying injured against the wall. Artoo and Risto emerge and rush to Seth’s side to help him up. On the balcony, they see Del and Val, still chained and suffering from the lashings of the lightwhip.
   
   The Voice greets them, welcoming “the great Luke Skywalker.” The utterance of his name causes nervous whispers in the crowd but The Voice tells them not to be afraid, that Luke is a Heretic and that the Glorious One will see him fall. Luke confronts The Voice and tells him that he’s taking the captives and leaving. The Voice commends Luke’s confidence but points out that there are too many for even him to fight. Luke tells The Voice that the Dark Side won’t protect him and The Voice asks Luke if that’s really what he senses. Luke admits that he senses nothing in The Voice. Not the Dark Side, not the Force. Just a void. The Voice tells Luke that he is beyond simple and archaic definitions of the Force and that the Glorious One is even further beyond Luke’s comprehension. The Voice then claims that the Glorious One is as old as the Force itself and is its true vessel and master. He foresaw the end of the old order, the final destruction of both Jedi and Sith by Anakin Skywalker but when that didn’t happen, when the Jedi were restored, the Glorious One realised that their heresy would forever consume the Force and he had to act. Jedi and Sith had corrupted the Force in this galaxy until it had become a festering wound that can’t heal until the corrosive forces of Jedi and Sith are destroyed.
   
   Luke of course isn’t buying any of it and once again demands that the captives be freed. The Voice then offers Luke the same opportunity he offered Del. Face three true warriors of the Force and be allowed to leave. Luke prompts Anna and Han to stand back and two warriors emerge from the crowd, both holding lightwhips. The whips are ignited and they begin to circle Luke, who stands still with his eyes closed, his lightsaber back hanging on his belt. The Voice signals the two warriors to attack. Luke swiftly dodges the whips stretches out with the Force, lifting the two warriors up and slamming them into each other, knocking them out. Anna can’t help but cheer as Luke makes short work of his opponents.
   
   The Voice congratulates Luke on his mastery of the Jedi arts and leaps down from the balcony. Del, despite his pain, calls out to warn Luke that The Voice has his lightsaber. Luke tells Anna to go free her brother. She hesitates but Luke assures her that it’s alright. Leaping over some guards, Anna makes it to the balcony and ignites her blade, cutting the chains of both Val and Del. The Voice smirks at what he calls a meaningless gesture and ignites Del’s lightsaber. Luke ignites his own saber and the battle commences.
   
   Luke’s mastery of the Force is on full display. The Voice is the aggressor, launching attack after attack, taunting Luke as he does so. For his part, Luke defends. He blocks and parries, occasionally using the Force to push The Voice back but never attacking. Luke wonders if he’s a heretic, if he should be struck down, why can’t The Voice do so? Getting frustrated, The Voice attacks even more aggressively, losing focus and slashing wildly. His sloppy attack allows Luke to get in close and bring his blade up across the alien’s arm and across his face, slicing the arm off and severely maiming The Voice’s face. The Voice falls defeated. The silence in the city is deafening as the crowd looks at their fallen leader. Luke calls The Voice a false prophet and asks how their great leader could be defeated by a heretic.
   
   Despite the agony he must be feeling, The Voice begins to laugh. He tells Luke that he isn’t the leader, he is just a servant of the Glorious One, one far stronger than Luke can imagine. He then commends Luke on his victory and power and admits that Luke will never be cleansed of his heresy. So he must burn. It’s immediately obvious that The Voice isn’t going to keep his word and let them leave. Luke tells them to run. Risto, Artoo, Han, Seth, Val, Anna and Del are led by Luke out of the city, past the stunned crowd. When The Voice calls out for them to destroy the heretics, things quickly become hostile and the crowd begins to attack. Luke and Anna use the Force to start pushing them back as they try to get to the gate. The Voice reaches out with the Force, causing the gate to slam shut, trapping them but Luke counters and blows the gate apart with his own power. They make it through the gate just as Chewie appears, piloting the Falcon. The boarding ramp has been lowered and as the ship lands, Luke tells everyone to hurry and get on board.
   
   But just as safety is within their reach, more “ground warriors” start to appear and the area is soon swarming with enemies. Han helps Del onto the ship, with Del surprised that Han came to rescue him but Han says that of course he did. Del is his son. Han talks about how tough Skywalkers are and Del says that he’s a Solo. The others follow as quickly as they can as the warriors fire on the ship and on Anna and Luke who are the last ones left standing outside. There’s now far too many warriors and Chewie is forced to take off but it remains hovering over the two Jedi as they fight off the alien warriors and the crowd swarming through the gate.
   
   Luke orders Anna to jump for the boarding ramp, promising to cover her. Anna is reluctant but as Luke uses the Force to send dozens of warriors tumbling backwards, he tells Anna to hurry and she makes a gravity defying leap, landing on the boarding ramp. She looks back down as the enemy forces swarm around Luke. He fights like a Jedi Master, in full control of himself and his abilities. Dozens of warriors fall to his lightsaber. More warriors stand on the city walls by the crushed turrets, holding blaster rifles and firing at the Falcon. Among them is The Voice, his arm gone, his face scarred, watching Luke fight. On the boarding ramp, Anna screams at Luke to jump, holding out her hand while inside the ship Chewie is joined by Han and we discover that the Falcon’s deflectors are failing. Han tells Chewie they aren’t leaving and to keep the ship steady.
   
   As the situation becomes more dire, Luke calms himself and deactivates his lightsaber. The Voice watches him curiously for a moment, wondering if he’s going to surrender. The warriors surrounding Luke all pause, confused for a moment. Luke glances up at Anna and smiles, holding out his lightsaber. It floats away from his hand and flies up towards the ship, into Anna’s hand. Luke then turns back to the warriors and after glancing up at The Voice for a moment, he closes his eyes. The warriors close in, swarming all over him. The dust that’s kicked up is enough to blind both Anna and The Voice to what’s happening for a moment but suddenly the dust is forcefully cleared away and every single warrior surrounding Luke is sent flying through the air. Dozens of beings are thrown backwards. The Millennium Falcon shakes uncontrollably and Han struggles to regain control. When the dust settles Luke is nowhere to be found. The only evidence that he was there is his Jedi robe, lying empty on the ground. Looking out through the cockpit window, Han saw what happened. He closes up the boarding ramp even as Anna screams at him not to. The Falcon rises into the sky as the remaining warriors on the city walls resume firing.
   
   Anna rushes to the cockpit and tells Han to turn the ship around but Han tells her that Luke is gone. She doesn’t want to believe it. Han tells her it’s too late and to go back and look after her brother.
   
   As the ship flies out of the atmosphere, Anna looks at her injured brother. He sees Luke’s lightsaber in her hand and the tears in her eyes and he knows the truth.
   
   On the surface, The Voice descends the city walls and goes out to where Luke disappeared. He stares down at Luke’s robe as one of his guards asks if they should pursue the Falcon. Thinking for a moment, he says no and tells the guard to make preparations to leave the planet behind. Looking at the scars and the severed arm, the guard asks why he doesn’t heal himself but The Voice responds that the Glorious One gives him the power to heal others, but not himself. He will live with his scars as a reminder of the danger the Jedi heretics possess.
   
   The Millennium Falcon returns to Coruscant where Leia and Lando are waiting. Medical personnel are waiting to take care of the injured. When Anna descends the ramp with Luke’s lightsaber, Leia knows immediately that her brother is gone. Anna gives Luke’s lightsaber to Leia and leaves, unable to look her mother in the eye.
   
   Somewhere in space, a convoy of ships travels through an unknown sector. On one ship, two medical droids work on The Voice, attaching a mechanical arm and working to heal the facial scars. Once again, The Voice seems to be talking to himself, answering unasked questions. He seems to ponder whether Luke is more dangerous now than when he was alive and ends his apparently one-sided conversation with “Glory To You, my master.”
   
   In the Jedi temple on Coruscant, Lando, Han, Leia, a recovering Del and Anna stand together. Lando explains that he sent a team to search the planet and found nothing but an abandoned city. The mysterious “Voice” and his followers were gone. Del comments that the “Followers” were fanatical, coming from all over the galaxy and apparently from beyond the Outer Rim. Whoever they are, they are a threat and if they have Force users, the Republic will need the Jedi. Leia stands off to the side, with Han trying to console her. She holds Luke’s lightsaber in her hand barely registering Del and Anna wondering who will lead the Jedi now that Luke is gone. Leia then hears a whisper on the wind, the sound of her brother’s voice telling her the Force will be with her. She then corrects her children, saying that Luke isn’t gone. Not really. Anna asks who will finish her training. Once again, Leia looks at the lightsaber and hears her brothers voice “pass on what you have learned...” Leia looks at her daughter and says, “I will.”
   
   And so our movie ends as Leia emerges from the entrance of the Jedi Temple, her children and husband behind her as well as the other heroes. Down at the bottom of the steps, every Jedi in the galaxy has gathered. They stand in silence as Leia holds Luke’s lightsaber aloft and ignites it, the blade pointing towards the sky. The other Jedi follow suit, holding their blades skywards and we end as all Star Wars movies do, with a wide shot showing an uncertain but exciting future. Iris Out. Credits.
   
   
   
   SEQUEL OUTLINES:
   
   STAR WARS
   Episode VIII
   THE GLORIOUS CRUSADE
   
   The adventure continues, kicking off with a bang as The Voice and his followers launch a crusade against the apparent heresy of the Jedi. Striking from beyond the Outer Rim, countless worlds quickly fall, their inhabitants either cleansed and converted or burned for their heresy. Meanwhile, Leia Solo tries to assert her authority over the scattered Jedi, desperate to keep them from being seduced by The Voice. Del Solo, still affected by his experiences goes on a one-man crusade of his own, thoughts of revenge threatening to consume him as Anna Solo comes face to face with her old teacher, who has returned to warn her of the true threat behind The Voice and prepare her for the challenge ahead.
   
   STAR WARS
   Episode IX
   THE WILL OF THE FORCE
   
   In the final part of our adventure, the stakes have never been higher. The galaxy is embroiled in a full scale war, simultaneously an insurrection from within the Republic and a mass invasion from outside the galaxy. As Han, Chewie and Lando journey to find unlikely allies in old acquaintances from an old life, Del Solo must confront his fears and stand alongside his sister to face their ultimate challenge or fall into oblivion. When the true nature of The Glorious One is revealed, the very essence of the Force and all life in the galaxy is under threat, prompting Luke Skywalker to return from death for one last battle.
   
   
   
   
   CHARACTER BRIEFS:
   
   Luke Skywalker
   
   Age and experience has given Luke Skywalker much knowledge and wisdom. Content to follow Yoda’s final instruction to pass on what he has learned, Luke has spent the last few decades seeking out Jedi survivors from the Clone Wars and training not only his sister, Leia, but her children also. Rather than reform the Jedi Order, Luke has favoured a more passive approach, encouraging Jedi to find their own path through the galaxy and help those who truly need them. As he has gotten older, Luke has found himself taking on many of the traits of his old mentor, Ben Kenobi but he still retains the excitement that comes with the promise of adventure. Luke never married but considered Del and Anna as close to him as if they were his own children.
   Han Solo
   
   Han is a man lost. He has settled down, had kids and grown older. But age hasn’t dulled his wit or slowed his gun hand. But in a time of peace, Han is without purpose. His smuggling and fighting days appear behind him and there’s no place in the universe for a scoundrel anymore. He’s still got his swagger but there’s nobody left to fight. He sees a lot of himself in his son, Del and it makes him a little resentful. In Del, Han sees past glories long gone and future adventures he may not get to have. Despite this, his love for his son and daughter never wavers and when the galaxy needs Han Solo to shoot first once more, he’ll be ready.
   Leia Solo
   
   In the time since the end of the Empire, Leia has played her part in restoring the Republic and helping it to prosper. But those days are behind her and she has allowed herself to finally reflect on what she’s lost and finally grieve for Alderaan and all those who have fallen in the fight for freedom. But through Han and their children, she also has reason to be joyful of the future she has been given. Leia was trained by Luke in the ways of the Jedi but ultimately didn’t choose the Jedi path. Eventually, fate may intervene and Leia will have to embrace her Jedi heritage if she is to safeguard the Republic she fought so long to build and protect her children from the greatest danger they will ever face.
   Lando Calrissian
   
   Lando is a war hero. The man who blew up the second Death Star achieved much fame in the early years of the restored Republic. After returning to Bespin to retake control of Cloud City, Lando’s fortunes rose, as did his influence in galactic politics until he decided to enter the political arena and try to change the galaxy for the better. Rising to the highest office in the galaxy, Lando worked tirelessly to rid the Republic of the last vestiges of the Empire, decommissioning the Imperial fleet and releasing the clone stormtroopers from their life-service to the military. Under Lando, the Republic expanded, the Hutt Cartels were dealt crippling blows and prosperity spread across the galaxy. But such feats came at a cost as Lando found himself drifting away from old friends until they were just good memories.
   Del Skywalker/Solo
   
   Del is his father’s son. Brash, confident, walking with a swagger, Del knows how good he is and he isn’t afraid to show it. After becoming a Jedi Knight, Del enlisted in the new Republic security force, the only Jedi to do so and was immediately assigned by the top brass to lead the most dangerous and vital missions for the Republic. His decision to join the military put him at odds with his father and when he decided to carry on the Skywalker name instead of his own, it put a huge strain on his relationship with Han. But for all his confidence, Del has yet to be truly tested in body or spirit and his over-confidence could prove his undoing.
   Anna Solo
   
   The daughter of Han and Leia Solo and possibly named for her grandfather, Anna is a few years younger than her brother, Del. In many ways, her youth betrays a naive and innocent outlook on the world. But Anna also craves adventure and patience is not one of her strongest virtues. But Anna is strong in the Force and believes in seeing the best in people, even when they’re at their worst. It’s that trait that could forever alter the course of the galaxy and lead to it’s salvation or its ruin. Anna reminds her uncle Luke of himself when he was younger and has worked tirelessly to teach her about patience, but like Luke, Anna struggles to listen and often leads with her heart rather than her head.
   Val Madine
   
   The daughter of General Madine, Val is one of the best pilots in the galaxy. Having grown up with Del Solo on Coruscant, she enlisted when he did and they’ve been inseparable ever since. Suggestions of a romantic interest in Del have always been shot down but there is nobody who knows her better than he does and nobody she cares about more. Headstrong and stubborn, Val often reminds Del of his mother Leia. Val will fight with every fibre of her being for a cause she believes in and to protect the people she cares about most.
   The Voice
   
   With no known name and his planet of origin a mystery, The Voice is known to most by his actions and words. As the chosen messenger of The Glorious One, The Voice is fanatical in his belief in what he calls the true path to the Force. The Voice is incredibly strong in the Force and is capable of healing others but perhaps his greatest ability is to sway others to his cause. It has been suggested that The Voice hails from outside the galaxy, perhaps as part of an ancient and terrible civilisation from elsewhere in the universe. His disdain for this galaxy and the teachings of the Jedi are obvious any who will not follow the true path or can’t be cleansed of their heresies will crumble before him. Yet for all his power, The voice is but a servant.
   The Glorious One
   
   Very little is known about The Glorious One. His followers claim that he is the true master of the Force, transcending the barrier between life and death. No one living has ever seen The Glorious One, apart from The Voice but some have suggested that perhaps The Glorious One is in fact a lie, concocted by The Voice in order to add weight to his grab for power. But even The Voice has been seen to be humbled by this unseen master. Whatever his true nature, his power is no doubt immense and the threat he possesses is very real. The Glorious One’s crusade against the false prophets, the Jedi heretics may consume the galaxy and some believe will alter the very fabric of the Force.

   I hate Theon Greyjoy.

   PrincessKenobi, May 17, 2013 at 8:30 AMReport

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3. PrincessKenobiE7 TOR SWTV Manager of Time and Space

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   Member Since:

   Aug 12, 2000

   

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   PK EDIT (including the part I forgot to add)
   
   STAR
   WARS
   Episode VII: Mysteries of the Force
   
   It would have taken the main characters(everyone named except for Kyp, Galen and Leia) to Nar Shaddaa to a Yuuzhan Vong information broker who uses HK-47 as a protocol droid an believes that to truly achieve a balance in the Force a strong sith and jedi order must co-exist and so, stop the endless cycle of near genocide by the two orders. Also there Han would join a sabaac tournament hosted by Lando to find someone worthy enough to give the Falcon to after he dies. He wins but takes his last opponent as a co-pilot. He is (in Ep IX) revealed to be Darth Corvus a mask wearing sith lord with a lightscyte. Probably the next scene I would have wrote would have been about him training on Korriban before being sent on a mission. He is an agent of the One Sith and of course Darth Krayt doesn't want another Sith order as competition. The YV info broker who is not force sensitive by the way would have sent the group to Tatooine to get a map from a Black Sun base. The map would point to a sith artifact the YV wants to use to resurrect Ludo Kressh and make him the head of the new sith order. After infiltrating the base by dressing up the bound and gagged Saya in Leias old chainmail bikini and posing as slavers, they of course demolish the base. They find the map which points to Dromund Kaas. AS they are leaving the last three BS thugs attack them with experimental prototype walkers(u no like mechas. around 3-5 meters tall). They seems to get the upper hand but Luke tears them appart with the Force. He is exhausted but the group goes on. Naturally a few ships still follow the Falcon because no star wars film is complete without ships shooting each other. While all this is going Leia is on Coruscant discussing politics with Jagged Fel. He begins to doubt the Galactic Alliance and seriously considers forming the Fel Empire. On DK the group quickly finds the artifact. They leave it in the hands of HK and quickly hurry back to the Academy since it is being attacked by soldiers wearing lightsaber gauntlets with black crystals. After defeating them, Kyle and Kyp would have gotten into a fight over working with Sith. Luke would push them away with the Force. Kyp would have decided to leave the order along with a few like minded Knights like Galen to form a true Jedi order that hunts the sith. At this point Luke collapses. Over the course of the "movie" he would have experienced more visions like the first. Bane vs Kas'im, Galen Marek vs Darth Vader(we need him in) Cade Skywalker and Celeste Morne vs Darth Krayt. Now he would have only seen the three Force Ghosts from the end of RotJ. With his last words he would have named Kyle the new Grand Master and become one with the Force.
   
   Looot of plans for two days.
   
   
   STAR
   WARS
   Episode VII: Mysteries of the Force
   
   
   unofficial treatment by Darth Corvus
   
   Although SuperShadow swears it is legit
   
   
   
   After the opening crawl a transport flies into the screen. It is heading towards a nerby planet. Suddenly it is overtaken by the MILLENIUM FALCON. The next sceen cuts into the cockpit where we are introduced to HAN SOLO and LEIA ORGANA SKYWALKER SOLO. Leia is angry because of the dangerous manouver but Han defends himself with the claim that he didn't enjoy himself in a long time. The Falcon elegantly lands on SHEDU MAAD on the landing platform of the Jedi Academy. After they leave the ship they are greeted by their granddaughter ALLANA SOLO and their daughter Jedi Master JAINA SOLO. They discuss why Allana hasn't began her formal training yet. She wished to wait for a whole group of prospective students to arrive because she didn't want to train alone.Jaina is looking forward to the comming of the new younglings because she will get her first apprentice although she is admittedly nervous. She is hoping to train Allana but believes it unlikely.
   The transport slowly lands next to the Falcon. Jaina wishes Allana luck and runs back into the Academy while R2-D2 and C-3PO come to greet the new students. Among them is THRIK a Chiss boy, SAYA VAO a ruthian twi'lek girl, and GALEN ANTILLES a tall human boy with shoulder length white hair. All three are in their mid teens. As Allana joines them they are discussing which Jedi Master is the best.[This scene will be used to establish the context for new audience] Galen is on the side of LUKE SKYWALKER saying that he destroyed the DEATH STAR with the Force and killed Emperor PALPATINE. Thrik counters it by saying that it was his father ANAKIN SKYWALKER who killed Palpatine and that he could only destroy the Death Star because KYLE KATARN stole the plans without the Force. He also mentions that Kyle managed to defeat seven dark jedi without any jedi training. Saya interrupts saysing that destroying the Death Star is fine but KYP DURRON destroyed the SUN CRUSHER. The others tell her that he also destroyed multiple star systems before it although Allana points out that at that point he was under the influence of EXAR KUN. Galen asks if Exar Kun was the one who formed the Rule of Two. Thrik tells him that it was DARTH BANE based on the instructions of DARTH REVAN. They carry one talking untill they reach a great hall with a lone figure standing facing the other way. When he turns he is revealed to be Grand Master Luke Skywalker himself. While he is adressing the students the other masters gather behind him. Finally it is time to assign apprentices to masters. Saya, to everyones surprise is given to his son BEN SKYWALKER. Luke believes that it is time for him to try to train someone. Thrik and Galen are given to Jaina and Kyp Durron respectively. After a lot of waiting Allana finally gets his master: Kyle Katarn.
   After the students leave with their masters Luke begins walking back to his chambers. As he is approaching a corner he heares the sound of lightsabers clashing. He begins to run. After he turns areound the corner he finds himself on the bridge of a starship. Before him two figures battle each other with crimson lightsabers. One is Darth Revan the other is DARTH MALAK. Malak is driven backwards. He turns to Luke and beggs to him to help kill Revan. He claims that the Sith became stronger because Revan didn't die at this duel. Luke just shakes his head takes a few steps back. Just as Revan's blade strucks Malak's jaw he finds himself back in the hallway. He resumes walking to his chambers with a tired look. In front of the door he finds Han and Leia. They talk about how they miss being young. They all feal that old age has taken a toll on them. Luke tells them about his vision. He believes he is close to death and these dreams express his doubts wether he made the right decisions in his life. He also believes that while jedi live longer, his excessive use of the Force somehow tired his body. Han shares with them his wish to sell the Falcon. He explains that Allana is too young for having her own ship and although Jaina is an excellent pilot he believes that a smuggler vessel shouldn't be in the posession of a Jedi Master married to an Imperial Moff.
   The next day we see the apprentices training together. They talk about what they have learned from their respective masters until Kyle arrives. Everyone is given identical green bladed training lightsabers. First Kyle shows them a few basic moves of the first six lightsaber forms. He ommits the seventh since it's practioners often fall to the dark side. While the students are doing drills he continues to talk about some of the finer details of lightsaber continues. Galen mentiones that he would like a sparring match and slowly the whole group joines him. Kyle says that he accepts the challenge. Galen is shocked but quickly steps forward. Kyle ignites his own blue lightsaber and they begin to fight. Galen seems to take the upper hand but of course Kyle is holding back to test his abilities. After he has seen enough he throws his lightsaber into his other hand, quickly switches to a reverse grip and disarms Galen with one move. After Galen retrieves his lightsaber Kyle ignites his old yellow bladed lightsaber in his other hand. He calls Saya, Thrik and Allana to join Galen and asks the others to form groups of four.
   Outside the academy Leia is saying farewel to Luke and Han. A transport has arrived to take her to CORUSCANT. Han stays behind a bit but Leia has to get back to the life of politics.

   Last edited by PrincessKenobi, Wednesday at 7:31 AM

   I hate Theon Greyjoy.

   PrincessKenobi, May 17, 2013 at 8:32 AMReport

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4. PrincessKenobiE7 TOR SWTV Manager of Time and Space

   Manager

   Member Since:

   Aug 12, 2000

   

   User C
   
   Star Wars 
   Episode VII:
   The Creeping Fear
   
   Set 32 years after the Battle of Endor and the fall of the Empire.
   
   A fully emerged New Jedi Order protects the galaxy alongside the newly formed Galactic Union; a dedicated government consisting of various factions, planets and peoples working as one to keep a sense of law, order and peace. 
   
   But as with all beacons of light, the darkness will soon emerge to try and consume it…
   
   
   
   
   The Key Characters
   
   Jedi Master Luke Skywalker, 56 – Founder of the New Jedi Order based on Coruscant, father to Ben Skywalker and a husband to Mara-Jade Skywalker who has been missing for 2 years. A born leader, teacher and devoted family man.
   
   GU Commander Han Solo, 66 – Commander of Galactic Union Army and a key role in the formation of the current military. Wants the chance to give more to the galaxy but now feels out of place.
   
   Princess Leia Organa-Solo, 56 – Ambassador for the Organa-Solo family aiming for a peaceful existence after years of war. A loving wife to Han Solo who is never stops fighting for a peaceful future.
   
   Mara-Jade Skywalker, 49 – A former Imperial Intelligence Officer, Mara-Jade married Luke Skywalker after the Battle of Endor. Currently missing-in-action whilst on assignment for the GU.
   
   Jedi Knight Ben Skywalker, 24 – An exceptional Jedi in his early twenties who is trying his best to carry his father’s legacy forward into the new era. A little impatient but well-liked and respected.
   
   Commander Thrawn, Age Unknown – Leader of The Insurgents, Thrawn is a former Commander in the GU now leading a mercenary team to take what they can from the galaxy by any means.
   
   Imperial Admiral Kish, 47– A loyal follower of the Galactic Empire now working alongside the GU, leading still the ways of the Empire for those looking for a more “powerful” line of government.
   
   Sith Lord Har-Shan, Age Unknown – A reclusive Sith Lord who has been a constant menace against the New Jedi Order, waiting to topple Luke Skywalker and build her own Sith Academy on Korriban.
   
   GU Ambassador Zulok-Su, 41– One of the GU Council Zabrak members who works closely with Princess Leia across all matters of diplomatic negotiations, peace talks and law enforcement.
   
   Captain Aran Antilles, 32 – Nephew of the deceased Alliance hero Wedge Antilles, Aran now leads X-Wing Rogue Squadron for the GU and is a brilliant pilot, eager to serve and protect his people.
   
   Lando Calrissian, 68– A retired war-hero of the Rebel Alliance and the Galactic Union, Lando resides back in Cloud City on Bespin living a quiet life, but is always ready to help his friends
   
   R2-D2 – The faithful astromech droid who resides with Master Luke Skywalker in the Jedi Temple. He continues to help train new Younglings and other general duties he is needed for with the GU.
   
   C-3PO – Protocol droid and aide to the Organa-Solo family. Continuing to offer his opinions and advice when not required, but is still useful in translation and strategic, logical thinking.
   
   
   Featured Planets
   
   Bespin – A peaceful planet untouched by war, home of Lando Calrissian and a source of Tibanna Gas
   
   Carida – Full of different sorts of terrain, Carida has been reported to house Insurgent activity
   
   Coruscant – Thriving centre of the galaxy and home to the New Jedi Order and Galactic Union
   
   Dantooine – This small planet this was the last known site Mara-Jade visited before she vanished
   
   Hoth – Former home to the Rebellion’s Echo Base, this is a deserted planet devoid of live
   
   Korriban – Touched by evil, this dark planet is the home world of the Sith Order, past and present.
   
   
   
   The Factions
   
   The New Jedi Order – Created by Luke Skywalker to mentor and train new generations of Jedi, now based on a new temple on Coruscant and a source of hope in a new era.
   
   The Sith – A constant threat to the Jedi but one that has not yet surfaced since Darth Vader and Emperor Palpatine, continued by the Rule Of Two – One master and one apprentice only.
   
   The Galactic Union – A collaboration of governments such as the Alliance and Empire, all past allegiances have been forgotten as a direction is taken for the best course of peace
   
   The Insurgents – Fanatics of fallen factions, military leaders and powerful figures who are trying to take what they can from the galaxy by way of piracy and violent methods. 
   
   
   
   The Story
   3 decades after the fall of the Galactic Empire under the reign of Emperor Palpatine, the galaxy has been one of relative peace. From the ashes of an era long forgotten, Jedi Master Luke Skywalker created a New Jedi Order on Coruscant in the footsteps of those who shaped him into the man he is today, such as Masters Yoda and Obi-Wan Kenobi, and also his father Anakin. 
   
   The Order is thriving with new Force-sensitive beings who now work with the newly established government in times of trouble and to protect any dangerous Sith resurgence. Luke ensures the Jedi are not ones to dictate a way of life to anyone, all so they can be more understood and appreciated for what they stand for. 
   
   Insurgents across the systems fight for control of what power they can, but casualties were few and battles were sparse. Princess Leia Organa-Solo along with Mon Mothma and General Crix Madine of the Rebel Alliance joined forces with the Galactic Empire’s Imperial Navy along with other factions seeking direction to form the Galactic Union; a new government intent on working together and pooling the knowledge, skill and militaries of all divided factions into one that can work together to maintain law and order in a fair and peaceful way, and to learn from mistakes and careless actions of the past…
   
   
   
   A small transport flies through the atmosphere of the planet Dantooine amongst a bed of stars. It comes through the clear sky and into land in a grass field outside a well built up but decaying temple, the Rakatan ruins, with crumbling arches decaying in the sun and reaching across and into the sky. Two figures emerge from the small crimson ship each wearing hooded robes and walk towards the ruins. We hear them talk as they stand, waiting for something or someone. They are Jedi. A soft voice of a young man questions the intelligence received, and an older voice relates the importance of why they are there. It is a mercy mission to track down a missing member of the Galactic Union, Mara-Jade Skywalker, whom was last known to be investigating rumoured Sith activity around the planet. As a swoop bike pulls up to the figures coming from the ruins and talks to the men, another figure runs out of the crimson transport, another Jedi. His shouts of alarm demand attention, calling:
   
   
   “Master Skywalker, come quick!” 
   
   Both men turn around. One figure is Master Luke Skywalker, older and wiser from when we last saw him on Endor, and his son, Ben, already looking grown up and handsome like his father. They remove their hoods. Luke relays the importance of Ben’s mission to find what he can about the whereabouts of his mother and how this will be a great test for him. Luke returns to the transport and learns the Galactic Union is requesting his assistance in a conflict in the Hoth system led by The Insurgents and claiming to have a kidnapped Mara-Jade Skywalker. Leaving Ben without this information which he chooses to face alone, Luke takes off from Dantooine and travels to Hoth.
   
   Upon arriving in the Hoth system, a space battle is taking place. Not as grand as the legendary Battle of Coruscant or even Endor, but one that is chaotic and carrying a sense of disorganisation about it. Large GU cruisers stand back as Rogue Squadron fighter’s battle enemy ships, looking like modified versions of TIE Fighters and other small craft, hovering around smaller enemy transports. They are ships of The Insurgents, led by Commander Thrawn, a former GU leader who is now commanding the dangerous mercenary group in fighting to take what they can from the galaxy by any means at their disposal.
   
   Luke lands with the GU cruiser and there meets his sister, Princess Leia Organa-Solo and some old faces of the Rebel Alliance, along with some from the former Galactic Empire, with fresh faces and young blood working together to repel the invasion of the Hoth system and investigate the kidnap of Mara-Jade. Luke and Leia use their knowledge of both the Force and military leadership respectively to assist in the battle, and Han Solo is also present leading a squadron of fighters in attack from the war room in his usual charming, yet arrogant ways. It is during the conflict Thrawn ceases fire and demands Luke to meet with him on board his ship to negotiate the terms of Mara-Jade’s release. However, he doesn’t feel her presence on the Insurgent ship but agrees to the rendezvous with Han volunteering to take him out in the Millennium Falcon to buy time against more conflict, and allow Ben to conduct his investigation on Dantooine.
   
   
   “I know what you want. Come and get her so we can negotiate a release.”
   
   As Luke and Han land on Thrawn’s ship, Revive, it suddenly jumps to hyperspace, leaving their fighters to be decimated by the GU in light of the deception. Leia sees what has happened and holds a hearing with the GU leaders. Zulok-Su advises Leia to remember her position in the new government and not to let her heart put her in danger to rescue her brother and husband. However, Commander Kish persuades the GU to let him lead a team to Dantooine to assist Ben Skywalker in the search for Mara-Jade for his own protection in light of this escalated situation. Leia reluctantly agrees with the term that she remain with the GU.
   
   On board Thrawn’s ship Luke and Han are met by Commander and a flank of guards. Han cracks about how he has a bad feeling about this, remembering the last time the Falcon was caught in a tractor beam by the enemy ship. Taking them into a seemingly peaceful boardroom, the 3 men are kept under guard by Insurgents in rag-tag armour consisting of Imperial, Mandalorian and other unidentified pieces. Luke soon makes it clear he knows Mara-Jade isn’t on board and for Thrawn to surrender his army to the GU and step-down to face charges of war crimes. It becomes clear that Thrawn is cleverer than he appears leading a band of mercenaries and reveals that he will step down when the time is right but there is a greater force at play, and Grand Master Skywalker needs to be detained whilst it does so.
   
   
   “What makes you think I need protection? You’re the ones who’ll need it inside there.”
   
   Dawn breaks on Dantooine as Kish lands to locate Ben Skywalker. Traversing the terrain to the ruins of the temple Leia informed them of they are ambushed by a pack of wild Kath hounds. One soldier is killed and a couple injured before Ben enters the fray and helps Kish disperse the hounds. Quite surprised by Kish’s arrival, Ben is informed of the current situation and allows the GU squad to assist him, but warns them not to hinder him and hold him back. Kish agrees and enters the ruins.
   
   Meanwhile Leia tricks Zulok-Su into being content staying with the GU and acts to return to Coruscant with C-3PO, her aide, and Captain Aran Antilles of Rogue Squadron to mind her, with R2-D2 staying to assist searching for Luke and Han. As she leaves the cruiser, her transport goes off course and heads out to Bespin to meet someone she knows may be able to help her locate Thrawn. Former GU leader and her friend Lando Calrissian living on Cloud City.
   
   Arriving at Cloud City, it’s like old times for the friends as they meet with Lando and Lobot, warmly welcomed and invited in to the private quarters. We learn more about how they all have been, and that Chewbacca died years ago during a GU rescue mission on Tatooine, where many civilians were saved from Insurgent captivity at the cost of the Wookiee’s life. Han has been dealing with losing his friend ever since but this has carried him on to continue to fight against Thrawn. Lando informs them that Carida is where the Insurgents group and operate from thanks to his intelligence network operating from the cover of Tibanna Gas mining. He may be out of the game, but still plays a few cards now and then. He agrees to take Leia to Carida to search for her family.
   
   
   “All great leaders falter once or twice. But I am not a great leader – I am the perfect leader.”
   
   Thrawn, Luke and Han are on the bridge of the Revive en route to Carida, where the Insurgents will regroup for the next stage of their plan. Han tries to talk his way into Thrawn’s weak spot by goading him about their failed attempts at starting a war, but Han loses his temper once Chewbacca is mocked. A scuffle breaks out, and Han is sedated and taken to the prison cells. Luke tries to use the Force to escape and immobilises Thrawn, but is forced submit once the Chiss tells Luke that if he wants to see Ben Skywalker leave Dantooine alive, to let him go. Luke is torn, but does so to save his son. 
   
   The Revive lands on Carida, in a warm tropical outpost. Unknown to them, Lando’s ship, Lady Luck, is already on the ground under a cloaking shield in preparation. Leia, Aran, C-3PO, Lando and two Bespin Guards leave the ship and move out to where the Revive landed.
   
   
   “We don’t trust the Jedi and you don’t trust the GU. It’s just like the old days, my boy.”
   
   In the temple ruins on Dantooine, Ben and Kish lead the GU deeper underground. The group navigate a breathing series of haunting rooms and corridors in the temple, some with great danger and others where they must work together. It is a very grand place, but echoing with the presence of something Ben can’t quite identify. Kish makes sure anything that comes their way is dealt with by blaster fire, much to Ben’s frustration at the violence used. The two lock horns in a way that none trust the other and what they stand for – the idea of former Imperials working for a peaceful future unsettles Ben, and the resurrection of the too powerful Jedi disturbs Kish, but for the respect of Mara-Jade, they continue together as a figure watches them from the shadows. 
   
   Above Carida, the GU fleet emerges from hyperspace away from the planet, under command of Crix Madine, Mon Mothma and Zulok-Su. They are on stand-by for Leia’s word that Luke and Han are safe and if Mara-Jade is on the planet to begin a rescue attempt and stop Thrawn.
   
   Han awakens in what looks to be a bunker cell alongside a Rodian prisoner, Jet. They exchange the situations they are in. Jet is a defector of the Insurgents who was caught stealing valuable information for the GU. Han offers safe refuge for Jet’s knowledge if they help each other in getting to Luke and off the planet. 
   
   Luke and Thrawn are in a control room looking out over the planet’s rainforest and waterfalls. Luke refuses to participate in any more false negations until Thrawn tells him what this is all about. Thrawn explains that he is working with the Sith in an attempt to bring down the Jedi Order and the GU for a more powerful, decisive and determined factor to rule the galaxy and that the Insurgents are simply an expendable, brainless team that he knew he could lead to simply busy the GU. Luke finds it hard believing him, but Thrawn reveals that Ben is walking into a trap on Dantooine and Mara-Jade is the bait. We see the anger on Luke’s face, as he battles with his inner emotions. Thrawn looks on and smiles. Suddenly, an explosion rocks the control room and sends both men flying.
   
   Leia, Lando and Aran have signalled Rogue Squadron who has started an attack on the Revive and Thrawn’s bunker on Carida. The GU squad led by Aran storm the bunker with support from Rogue Squadron and split up to find Han and Luke. Aran finds Luke and Thrawn unconscious, and manages to take down a handful of guards before helping Luke to safety. Leia and Lando come across Han and Jet, whom they release. Han and Lando have a warm reception to each other and Leia affectionately makes Han promise to think about retirement from the GU after they are back safe, as they are too old to be doing this anymore. They battle out of the bunker and towards the Revive, where Aran and Luke are now in confrontation with the guards. Luke uses the Force to help take down the guards and access the Revive to get to the Falcon with his allies. 
   
   Han and Luke get on board the Falcon with Jet’s help and start her up, with Lando, Leia and Aran on the Lady Luck ready for their escape with Rogue Squadron. Luke tells Leia about Ben on Dantooine who immediately signals the GU to inform Kish. They blast off from Carida with a pocket of Insurgent fighters trailing them. Thrawn stands at the broken window of the control centre, looking down on the Revive and watches the Falcon take off soon followed by Lady Luck. He turns and signals a communication board. He requests Mara-Jade to be executed, and that their target has left.
   
   
   “This was easier than I thought. You’re going to have to prepare yourself for a great loss.”
   
   Kish and Ben appear in the depths of a large cavern, Ben’s blue lightsaber illuminating strange glyphs on the wall. They are Sith markings. A loud scream pierces the calm, stunning the whole squad. As Kish’s com-link crackles into life with Madine’s voice, he silences it, turns on the GU soldiers and shoots them in the panic, and turns to Ben with this blaster raised and quickly reveals that if he wants to see his family alive, to lose his weapon. Ben stops for a moment, and eventually drops his lightsaber. A fire is ignited in the room and a figure is revealed tied to a large pillar. It’s a beaten and sedated Mara-Jade. Ben runs over to her but is Force pushed back into the red rock of the cavern. A tall, leather clad woman with white skin and yellow hair steps out behind the pillar holding a lightsaber. She reveals herself as Har-Shan, Sith Lord and hater of the Jedi Order. She taunts Ben about his bloodline, and that he could fulfil a destiny failed by his father Luke and grandfather Anakin to rule the galaxy. Kidnapping Mara-Jade was a secure way to lure the Skywalker family to her aid and she is glad Ben arrived instead of Luke. 
   
   Ben ignores the taunts and says he is tired of hearing about how the Sith want to rule, and that there is no hope for her. Har-Shan calls Bens lightsaber and throws it to him. She challenges him to a duel for the life of Mara-Jade as the prize and to prove he is worthy. Kish starts to complain about wasting time, but a bolt of Force Lightning from Har-Shan kills him instantly, turning Ben’s stomach. The sabers ignite, and a hypnotic duel ensures. Crimson blade against blue, using the curved temple walls as their own advantage and the surroundings to help deter the other as two young fighters use all their training to stay alive. 
   
   
   “Time to get our family back together. Again.”
   
   As the Falcon, Lady Luck and Rogue Squadron battle away from Carida, the GU fleet assist with minor losses and take the two transports on board. Leia, Luke, Han and Lando meet with the Admirals and update them on Thrawn’s plans. Luke, Han and Leia agree to retrieve Ben from Dantooine. Lando stays with the fleet, planning to leave for Bespin once they are back safe.
   
   Ben and Har-Shan battle in the ruins, and eventually Har-Shan makes a grave error during a counter move and Ben takes her life. Exhausted, he sees to his mother, using his powers to sooth and wakes her gently. She is surprised to see her son there, but greatly relieved. She weeps gently and apologies for endangering him. Feeling it’s time to leave, Ben escorts her out. As they leave the ruins of the Temple, with Mara-Jade slower due to her weak state, the Falconemerges from the clouds and lands by them. The heroes exit the ship to welcome Ben and Mara-Jade, compensating to make sure everyone is ok, and it’s clear the relief is evident.
   
   They board the Falcon. Jet appears from the smugglers compartment, armed with a rifle and a thermal detonator and shouts through to the cockpit. He calls to Solo. Han is puzzled at yet another random betrayal, but it’s not him he’s after, it’s Leia, by request of Commander Thrawn, and if she doesn’t comply then Jet will destroy himself and the Falcon with all of them inside. An emotional, but strong willed family understand the situation and Leia assures them once they are out of danger, she has faith in the GU and the Jedi to stop Thrawn. Jet forces everyone out of the ship except Leia, who he demands help pilot the Falcon away from Dantooine. Han and Luke look on as Leia is taken hostage, while Ben signals the GU of the emergency situation.
   
   Suddenly, the clouds part and a black ship emerges heading towards the climbing Falcon. Luke immediately recognises the ship as a Sith Annihilator. A fury of laser blasts and a torpedo fires towards the Corellian ship and cripples the front of it. Han runs forward in panic as the Falcon spits flames and spirals out of control. Luke reaches out with Ben to stable the Falcon but it is too late. He hears Leia’s voice crying out in fear, before the Falcon crashes and explodes on the surrounding hillside. The Annihilator swoops overhead and heads back up into the clouds, leaving a broken family in the aftermath of the attack.
   
   
   “We failed once before because we were weak. This time we will not fail again.”
   
   The Annihilator lands on the planet Koribaan, a dark world cloaked in the evil of the Sith. Commander Thrawn stands in a tall tower looking out across the burnt world talking to a cloaked figure. Princess Leia Organa-Solo has been killed. The GU has lost its founding leader. The Skywalker/Solo family is broken. Due to his successful deception and ultimate success in the plan, Thrawn is promoted to Grand Admiral of the Sith Military by the instigator behind the kidnap of Mara-Jade, the attack by the Insurgents and the decoy of Har-Shan; Darth Revan. A Sith army is building with the Sith Lord ready to lead the attack on the New Jedi Order and bring down the Galactic Union once and for all.
   
   On Coruscant, a fragile memorial service is held by Mon Mothma and Zulok-Su for Leia. The family appears broken, colleagues and friends are shocked and there is a state of mourning.
   
   Luke and Han share a few words after the service looking out over the city, towards the Jedi Temple. Questioning her death, Han feels lost and doesn’t know what his direction in life is now. Luke reminds him that his direction is to help seek out those who killed his wife and to be there for his daughter, Jaina Solo, once she returns from her peace mission as Jedi ambassador for the GU out in the Unknown Regions, to continue Leia’s legacy. 
   
   They embrace as friends, and as family, as the sun sets on a dark day....
   
   
   
   To Be Continued in 'Episode VIII'

   I hate Theon Greyjoy.

   PrincessKenobi, May 17, 2013 at 8:33 AMReport

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5. PrincessKenobiE7 TOR SWTV Manager of Time and Space

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   Aug 12, 2000

   

   User D
   
   Main Cast:
   
   New Republic:
   Commander Maren Solo, Jedi and X-3 Pilot (Human Female)
   Kora Ven, bounty hunter (Twi'lek Female)
   Prime Minister Asrak Tenko (Togrutan Male)
   Jedi Grand Master Luke Skywalker (Human Male)
   Former Prime Minister Leia Organa Solo (Human Female)
   Former General Han Solo (Human Male)
   Admiral Nien Nunb (Sullustan Male)
   
   Imperial Remnant:
   Commander Jarek Windkiller, T9 pilot (Human Male)
   Chancellor Marr Jerska (Human Female)
   Grand Admiral Penth Gilad (Human Male)
   Karth Fangrider, pilot (Human Male)
   
   Conglomeration Forces:
   Warmaster Nurr'raver'naudo (Chiss Female)
   Darth Pyris, Sith Lord (Kyrthuan Female)
   Primary Sabatryianas (Ryggellan Female)
   Chieftain Zav Riska (Gotal Male)
   Warmaster Rex Talon (Human Male)
   
   
   Star Wars: Episode VII
   
   The Crumbling Truce
   
   The galaxy is at war once again. The New Republic, which has been at peace with the breakaway Imperial Remnant for decades, is under attack. The Conglomeration, a mysterious alliance under the command of an even more mysterious leader, Primary Sabatryianas, is gaining allies every day. Its growing military strength is massing in the Outer Rim along the shared border between Republic and Empire, and tensions among both governments is high. Prime Minister Asrak Tenko and Chancellor Marr Jerska have their work cut out for them as both sides secretly blame the other...
   
   Commander Maren Solo of the Republic and Commander Jarek Windkiller of the Remnant have been sent on a joint mission to investigate rumors of Conglomeration forces massing near Ord Canfre. It is a trap. Warmaster Nurr'raver'naudo's forces succeed in bringing down the pair's reconnaissance shuttle, but the resourceful pilots manage to hide out long enough to barter passage with Kora Ven.
   
   Kora Ven, bounty hunter, has an ulterior motive. Ransoming Maren Solo, Jedi Knight and military hero (not to mention the daughter of Han Solo and Leia Organa), could bring a great price. Local criminal Chieftain Zav Riska has placed a hefty bounty on Jarek Windkiller, ace pilot, as well due to his actions in a previous border skirmish. Both are wanted by the Conglomeration as spies.
   
   Kora Ven’s attempt to turn Solo and Windkiller over to Zav Riska does not go well. Warmaster Nurr’raver’naudo’s fierce shock troops are waiting, as is Darth Pyrus, and Kora Ven is forced to rely on her former captives to escape. Forging an uneasy alliance of their own, Solo, Windkiller, and Ven make their way back to Republic space.
   
   Upon reaching Sinfin III, temporary main base of the combined Republic and Empire headquarters, the information that Solo and Windkiller have obtained is analyzed. The technicians are able to use it to decode Conglomeration transmissions. It seems their next target will be Polperro, the home of the recently re-established Jedi Order. It is a world with few defenses.
   
   Conglomeration forces attacking Polperro bring the battle down into the atmosphere, where their superior craft confound the Imperial T9s, as well as the Republic X-3s, which have better atmospheric capabilities but the pilots have limited atmospheric dogfighting training. Imperials and Republic forces must trust each other and work together. Kora Ven lends a hand with the technical teams to bring down the Conglomeration forces’ comms, which allows Maren and Jarek to lead their fighter squadrons to victory.
   
   Today, the combined forces of the Republic and Empire have won a decisive blow against their enemies. But the threat of both the Conglomeration and the return of the Sith have not yet been stopped for good...
   
   
   Character Notes:
   
   The “New Big Three” - Maren Solo, Jarek Windkiller, Kora Ven
   
   Maren Solo: the child of Leia Organa and Han Solo, she is strong and sometimes impulsive. She has combined her Jedi training with her father’s style of flying to become a formidable pilot and was a member of Rogue Squadron. However, her lack of discipline is what keeps her from advancing, and she constantly fights against her famous family’s reputation, never quite sure if she’s living up to the legend, but always confident that whatever she is doing is right. Mid-20s, brown hair, brown eyes, fair skin.
   
   Jarek Windkiller: a quiet but intense young man, who is a true believer in what the Imperial Remnant has become: a well-ordered civilization that is slowly losing some of its more fanatical side. He is meticulous in everything he does - if one is going to do something, one should do it right. He finds Maren a bit incomprehensible, but is beginning to have feelings for her, though she hasn’t let on if she’s noticed yet. Mid-20s, dark hair, gray eyes, medium brown skin.
   
   Kora Ven: a calculating bounty hunter who will do almost anything for a credit. She’s definitely a lone wolf - on the outside. Secretly, she has always wanted to make a difference, but long ago discovered that the galaxy is a bitter, cruel place and gave up her dreams in exchange for the comforts of profit. She is also an accomplished slicer. Meeting Maren and Jarek, however, has gotten her to rethink her choices in life. Mid-30s, orange skinned Twi’lek.
   
   The Main Villains:
   
   Warmaster Nurr’raver’naudo: a fine example of a Chiss officer, she left Chiss space to pursue the chance at greater power among the Conglomerate. She is ruthless and a brilliant tactician, and has become the main Warmaster of the Conglomeration fleet. The Warmaster is the preferred subordinate of Primary Sabatryianas. She is respected and feared by the rest of the Conglomeration forces...and many lesser officers are jealous. Her arrogance may be her downfall. Late-40s Chiss, black hair, blue skin, red eyes.
   
   Primary Sabatryianas: the mysterious leader of the Conglomeration. Very little is known about her or her species, the Ryggellans, beyond the fact that they come from somewhere in the unknown areas of the Outer Rim. Sabatryianas exudes power, and is greatly feared. She inspires obedience. Tall, imposing Ryggellan (bipedal reptoid with relatively humanoid shape and long whiplike tail with poisoned barbs at the tip) female of unknown old age, blood red/purple skin, long claws, glowing white eyes.
   
   Darth Pyris: a Sith Lord, the first since Darth Sidious. Little is known about her, though she is a powerful Force user who has discovered an ancient source of Sith knowledge. She is a formidable lightsaber duelist who will be more important in the second and third films. Wears a mask and scale-like torso armor over black robes. Mid-30s Kyrthuan (small sized humanoid) with purple-black skin, ice-blue eyes, and short hair the color of burning flames.
   
   The Conglomeration: a loose alliance of various cultures and species from the farthest reaches of the Outer Rim, becoming more cohesive and dangerous by the day under the command of Primary Sabatryianas. It is bent on conquest and assimilation of all worlds into the Conglomeration. Known members include but are not limited to the following species: Ryggellan, Chiss, Human, Gotal, Hutt, Kyrthuan, Klatoonian, Quarren, Shistavanen, and many bounty hunters, mercenaries, and those disillusioned by both the Imperial Remnant and the New Republic.

   I hate Theon Greyjoy.

   PrincessKenobi, May 17, 2013 at 8:34 AMReport

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6. PrincessKenobiE7 TOR SWTV Manager of Time and Space

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   Aug 12, 2000

   

   User E
   
   
   Star Wars: Episode VII - Rise of the Fallen
   
   (Act 1 - Opening Scene: Deep Space)
   
   From deep, empty space, the rumble of The Conquest glides into view. Below the Conquest, caught in it’s blue glowing energy field, the freighter’s tracker beam pulls in it’s prey. On board, the crew of The Millenium Falcon’s escape to the hidden smuggling hatches, leaving only the deactivated droid in plain sight..
   
   Stromm Valtar enters the Conquest’s docking bay, accompanied by four guards. As the docking bay engineer locks on the correct code, the Millenium Falcon’s main hatch falls to the floor. Valtar proceeds to tell everyone in the docking bay that he intends to handle the following proceedings on his own. Valtar enters the captured ship, only to find it empty.
   
   Suddenly, the Falcon’s crew of three appear from hidden floor hatches as Captain Calrissian explains they needed to hide Valtar’s merchandise because they were boarded at their last stop. She then thanks Valtar for pulling them in, explaining that the Falcon is having problems with it’s main thrusters. Valtar expresses anger that the old deactivated droid wasn’t hidden as well. Calrissian and Valtar engage in a heated conversion, Valtar explains he needs just one more item before Calrissian and her crew will be paid,.He demands Calrissian to pilots the Falcon to take him to find this one last possession. Calrissian agrees to comply with a hunch that she better not anger Valtar, knowing she and her crew were outnumbered. The Conquest’s engineers fix the Falcon thrusters, Valtar gathers some belongings and Calrissian and her crew, along with Valtar and three of his guards depart for Valtar’s destination.
   
   (Act 1 - Scene 2: Coruscant)
   
   On Coruscant the Planet heads meet for the official signing of the newly formed Galactic Democracy. Fallon Ritcher of Corellia steps in as the newly elected President taking over for Chancellor Leia Organa-Solo who has been leader of the temporary “New Republic” for the past seven years. As part of the newly signed agreement, the Jedi are officially given permission to launch their new Jedi Order, an act that once again endorses the Jedi as the Galactic’s official peacekeepers and in turn gives them an official vote in all Galactic matters. The Jedi agree to train only those with strong force abilities who are over the age of 16.
   
   Han Solo introduces the new Jedi Council, all of which are Luke and Leia’s descendants.with the exception of Luke’s first apprentice Horra Corpal. (Corpal was trained before the newly forming Government asked that the Jedi only train their own family, leaving only Corpa and the Skywalker clan as Jedi members.) Of the twelve Skywalker descendants, five (along with Horra Corpal) participate as part of the Jedi Council:
   
   Luke Skywalker as Grand Master Jedi / Head Trainer 
   Leia Organa-Solo as the Political Council Member, 
   Mara Jade-Skywalker (Luke’s wife) as Education / Academy Council Member
   Horra Corpal as the Galactic Intelligence Council Member 
   Bail Solo (Han and Leia’s oldest son) as Chief Recruiting Council Member
   Padme Solo-Nolestrum (Han and Leia’s oldest daughter) as Head Historian Council Member. 
   
   The six remaining Skywalker descendants consist of:
   
   Dal Solo (Han and Leia’s youngest Son) -- A Techo-Engineer who decided not to follow in the Jedi path
   Ben and Lars Skywalker, (Luke’s and Mara’s sons), as Jedi Knights
   Mecha Sola, (Bails daughter) a Jedi Apprentice 
   Drake and Narubie Nolestrum (Padme’s Son and Daughter) Jedi in waiting (too young to officially be accepted into the New Jedi order).
   
   The signing is followed by a celebration party. As the the entertainment, the Jedi present a friendly lightsaber challenge, each round lasting 5 minutes. Created by Dal Solo, the eight Jedi participating in the challenge wear special suits that will detect hits and determine blows based on a point system from training lightsabers. For the quarter finals, Mara duels Lars, Mara wins; Bail duels Mecha, Bail wins; Padme duels Ben, Ben wins; and Drake challenges Narubie, Narubie wins. In the semi finals, Mara duels Ben, Ben wins and Bail duels Narubie, Narubie wins. In a very close and surprising final, Narubie, the youngest in the Skywalker clan outlasts Ben for the victory. 
   
   On the day following the Celebration, Han takes Chewie and his son Dal to New Bespin to pick up the Millenium Falcon (undergoing repairs and upgrades by Lando’s people). On their way they receive the bad news from Lando that his daughter Jari has taken the Falcon and believes that she is in some sort of trouble. Han and his companions agree to pick up Lando and to help him find his daughter and the Falcon.
   
   Horra Corpal heads off in his ship taking C3PO as a translator to some of the outlying worlds, while Bail and Mecha take one of the Jedi’s new long range cruisers and Ben and Lars take the other. Now that the Jedi are allowed to train others, the five Jedi have organized a recruiting mission to visit some of the most powerful force users in the Galaxy.
   
   Luke returns to Dagobah with R2-D2 to meditate with Jedi from the Neather-World and gather some training materials left by Yoda and previously prepared for the apprentices he has already trained.
   
   Leia, Mara, Padme, Drake, and Narubie remain on Coruscant to prepare the new Jedi Academy for the recruits that will soon arrive.
   
   (Act 1 - MONTAGE: Recruiting)
   
   MONTAGE: 
   Horra and 3PO travel to four outer rim planets for potential Jedi recruits, two teenager who are strong in the force join Corpal immediately while two more commit to come later. One potential recruit declines going to the academy.
   
   Ben and Lars visit candidates on six planets, three are ready to join the academy and travel with Skywalkers back to Coruscant, two others are underaged and accept to come when they are of age. The final candidate postpones leaving for the academy and ponders his fate.
   
   Bail and Mecha are able to visit several of planets close to Coruscant, five which join them immediately, 3 commits for latter admission while two candidates decline to join the academy
   
   (Act 2 - Scene 1: Mulisqueen)
   
   After decades of searching the galaxy, Stromm Valtar is able to use the Journals and Halomaps scavenged from various locations by various people to locate the hidden vault of Darth Sidious. Calrissian lands the Millenium Falcon on Mulisqueen, a planet that looks like it was once abundant with life, which is now left desolate with nothing living and no useful natural resources. Valtar commands everyone on the Falcon to remain on the ship, and that his journey may take several days, he then promises a reward double that which was originally promised. 
   
   Stromm Valtar activates the ancient droid and the two exit the Falcon. Valtar uses a holomap to locate the opening of a cave and then travels several meters down until two enormous doors block his path. Using several of the Journals Valtar spends what seems as an eternity in desperation trying find the algorithm that will unlock the vault. 
   
   Without sleep for days, Stromm Valtar falls into an hallucination and starts to see a dark shadow appear from the underneath and between the vault doors. Without control of of his body, Valtar feels the shadow consume him. He feels himself rise and move toward the vault doors as he watches his hands enter the correct vault code. As the vault opens, an explosion of pressure and darkness knocks him unconscious, nearly taking his life.
   
   (Act 2 - Scene 2: Unleashed)
   
   On Dagobah, as Luke is communing with the remaining members of his New Jedi Order (Anakin, Obi-Wan, Yoda and Qui-Gon) from the Netherworld. The communication is suddenly broken by a strong disturbance in the force. After the communication is reestablished, the five Jedi believe that the disturbance in the force has something to do with Midichlorians going haywire. Luke uses R2-D2 to contact Leia, Mara and the other Jedi on Coruscant, who then send out beacons for the remaining Jedi to meet or contact the Council on Coruscant. Luke then becomes one with the force as he enters a deep almost unconscious, meditation state.
   
   Back on Mulisqueen, The droid (which must have some medical experience) attends to and successfully removes the cloud of darkness that has attacked Valtar. As Valtar regains consciousness, the droid explains that they must act fast, before the Midichlorians escape. 11-4D returns to the Millennium Falcon for the crew. As Calrissian and her three crew members and Vartar’s three guards approach the vault, they are all attacked by the dark cloud of dark-side midichlorians. 11-4D speaks to Valtar saying the seven beings should make perfect hosts, Valtar agrees and questions if they are enough to get the job done. Valtar gathers more journals, and items from the vault and then commands the seven midichlorian hosts to rise and follow him to the ship. He then tells Calrissian to pilot the Falcon to the nearest spaceport. 
   
   (Act 2 - Scene 3: Tracking)
   
   After picking up Lando on New Bespin, a tracking locator is turned on and syncs up with a tracking device that has recently been installed on the Millenium Falcon. According to the the locator the Falcon cannot currently be found (the device is not capable of locating its source if its source is traveling through hyperspace), however, it can determine that the Falcon previously had been hovering in the same place in space, in the middle of nowhere for days. 
   
   After arguing weather the coordinates could be accurate or not, Lando convinces Han they are as Chewy sets a course to the empty space to see if they can find a clue as to where Jari Calrissian and the Millennium Falcon could be. Coming out of hyperspace, Han and his group nearly collide with the Planet where the Falcon had been, for the last several days.
   
   ----
   Before the infected crew depart the Millennium Falcon, Valtar tells the dark-side, midichlorian infected hosts that he was once an Imperial Guard for an arrogant, paranoid, dark lord of the Sith, who liked to embellish on his greatness. Hearing the same story told over and over in various different ways, about this Sith’s previous Master made Valtar decide to uncover the truth about the dark lord’s master. After decades of locating journals, holograms and holomaps Valtar tells his company that as paranoid as this Sith Master was, (by cutting up Master and sending his body parts throughout the galaxy), it still was not enough to keep Darth Plagueis, otherwise know as Hego Damask dead. 
   
   As the infected crew depart the Millennium Falcon at Mos Eisley, Valtar commands them to let the midichlorians guide them to where they need to go. Valtar and 11-4D secure passage on a luxury ship to Coruscant to prepare the reanimation of Darth Plagueis, Calrissian plots a course to Dagobah as the six others find access to the locations they need to go, to find the remnants of Darth Plagueis.
   
   As the infected hosts of the bazerk Midichlorians each travel to their separate destinations, they seem to infect and kill almost all plant and animal life and in some cases even some weak minded people. The Planets and areas of the places infected contact their government representative, who then contact the Jedi on Coruscant to ask for help.
   
   ----
   After re-syncing the tracking devices, Lando can now see that the Falcon is out of Hyperspace, and entering the Dagobah system.
   
   Lando sends a transmission to Luke on Dagobah, but receives no response. Han then contacts Leia on Coruscant to find out if Luke is still on Dagobah, Leia says he probably is, but is likely in one of his deep meditation sessions, which could last for days. 
   
   (Act 3 - Scene 1: Cleansing)
   
   Jari lands the Falcon on Dagobah and exits her ship. Immediately the haywire midichlorians start to detach from her and begin make their way into the Dark Cave, killing all vegetation in their way. Jari follows them in as the midichlorians then appear to reanimate what is left of persons torso.
   
   Between the dark presence around him and R2-D2, Luke finally awakes from his meditation, but it is too late; Jari has already exited the cave with the torso and has re-entered the Falcon. The Falcon departs before Luke can do anything. Luke concentrates on the dead path that the midichlorians traveled and uses force powers he has never felt before to make them live again.
   
   Luke again communes with the Jedi Masters from the other side of existence. They discuss if the new found power of Luke and tell him he has the power to undo what has been done by the evil midichlorians and that he must teach the rest of his new Jedi Order the same.
   
   ---
   All the Jedi have been recalled and are together again on Coruscant. The new recruits have settled into their dorms at the Academy and are told they are welcome to join the existing Jedi in their meetings and training, but are asked not to participate at this time.
   
   Luke teaches the Jedi how to use the power of the force to counteract the effects that the dark midichlorians leave behind. Most of the Jedi are then sent out to cleanse the infected parts of the Galaxy. Luke tells the Jedi that he feels that Coruscant is in danger and that he will remain to protect what they have worked so hard to build. Leia, Padme and her children (Drake and Narubie) also stay behind.
   
   (Act 3 - Scene 2: Re-Animation)
   
   After the Jedi leave Coruscant, the original infected hosts eventually make their way to Coruscant from their various locations with the remains of Darth Plagueis. With much help from 11-4D, Stromm Valtar commands the midichlorians and is able to bring the Dark Master back to life. Plagueis rises as an enormous rift in the force is felt by all with Force presence throughout the Galaxy and into the realms of the Netherworld.
   
   Valtar kneels before Plagueis and asks “Master, what is thy bidding?” Plagueis responds “Rise my apprentice, you have done well and have earned a place by my side. From now on you shall be known as Darth Archimage.” Plagueis feels the presence of Jedi near as he shields the dark-side from himself and Archimage. 
   
   Plagueis realizes that a dark disturbance in the force must have been felt by the Jedi, and sends the midichlorian hosts (that have now been turned to the dark-side) out to find and kill the Jedi (as a distraction of the true reason for the rift). Although the seven possessed beings have no where near the power of a Sith, they will have the abilities to use some of the powers of the dark-side.
   
   (Act 3 - Scene 3: Consequences)
   
   Luke is able find and kill two darksiders before any are able to detect him. Leia and Padme take a defensive stand by guarding the new recruits and Padme’s children at the Academy. Jari engages Padme into a conversion, tricking her into believing she is no longer infected, as the discussion continues another dark host sneaks up and kills one of the new recruits. Padme is able to contain Jari (keeping her alive), but Drake is critically wounded by the other darksider. Narubie approaches and kills the darksider with her lightsaber.
   
   Leia chases two more down on speeders and is able to kill one, but the other gets away.
   The final darksider enters a small ship as he tries to escape the planet, while Luke uses his powers to turn Jari from the dark-side. Han Locates the escaped ship with the Falcon and destroys it.
   
   (Act 3 - Final Scene: Resurgence)
   
   Darth Plagueis and Darth Archimage discuss their plans to remain hidden as they devise a plan to take back the Galaxy.

   I hate Theon Greyjoy.

   PrincessKenobi, May 17, 2013 at 8:36 AMReport

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7. PrincessKenobiE7 TOR SWTV Manager of Time and Space

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   User F
   Star Wars VII: Seduction
   
   Joon, the daughter of Luke Skywalker, is seen with hooded figures.
   
   Luke is not aware of this.
   
   Joon does questionable things to destroy the new jedi order and republic.
   
   I would rather keep the audience from knowing that Joon is related to Luke. In the 8th film, Luke can say to Joon, "I am your father, and join me and we can live a happy life since I already own this empire republic universe."
   
   Do not reveal who the people in the hoods are in the 7th film.
   
   Do not kill off Luke, Han, Leia, Lando, Chewie, in this next film.
   
   Kill off people that are less lovable

   I hate Theon Greyjoy.

   PrincessKenobi, May 17, 2013 at 8:37 AMReport

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8. A Chorus of DisapprovalEpisode VII Riot Deterrent

   Moderator

   Member Since:

   Aug 20, 2003

   

   TL/DR 
   
   Nah... so far so good.

   "Men in general are quick to believe that which they wish to be true".

   A Chorus of Disapproval, May 17, 2013 at 10:02 AMReport

   #8LikeReply
9. eht13Ep VII & Beyond Mod

   Moderator

   Member Since:

   Sep 14, 2007

   

   I'm impressed... you guys put a lot of time and thought into this.

   eht13, May 17, 2013 at 10:04 AMReport

   #9LikeReply
10. Han BurgundyJedi Master

    Member Since:

    Jan 29, 2013

    

    So bummed that this is my finals week, otherwise I totally would have submitted something...
    
    Anyways, good stuff! Somebody should email JJ and Ardnt a link to these threads... If nothing else, it may inspire a break from their writers block.

    Last edited by Han Burgundy, May 17, 2013

    "Everybody always figures the time they live in is the most epic, the most important age to end all ages. But tyrants and heroes rise and fall, and historians sort out the pieces." -Jolee Bindo
    Formerly known as starmin76.

    Han Burgundy, May 17, 2013 at 10:15 AMReport

    #10LikeReply
11. Darth_CorvusEpisode VII Treatment Contest Winner

    Game Winner

    Member Since:

    Jun 18, 2010

    

    You didn't include the rough draft of how the story would follow? I am destined to fail. No matter SuperShadow still swears my draft is legit. Gonna have a good time reading them all.

    <p align=center><a target=_blank href=http://www.nodiatis.com/personality.htm><img border=0 src=http://www.nodiatis.com/pub/11.jpg></a></p>

    Darth_Corvus, May 17, 2013 at 5:57 PMReport

    #11LikeReply
12. BlipJedi Knight

    Member Since:

    Feb 6, 2004

    Some really enjoyable entries so far. 
    
    On a completely unrelated note, eht13 I love your avatar - like a "Death Park" battlestation. 

    Blip, May 17, 2013 at 7:51 PMReport

    #12LikeReply
13. eht13Ep VII & Beyond Mod

    Moderator

    Member Since:

    Sep 14, 2007

    

    Blip said: ↑

    Some really enjoyable entries so far. 
    
    On a completely unrelated note, eht13 I love your avatar - like a "Death Park" battlestation. 

    Haha, thanks. You mean like "South Park", as in the way the Canadians on that show appear (if it just had a second "eye")? That wasn't even intended, actually... just meant to be a very simple representation of the Death Star. But I see what you mean... funny. To be honest, I'm not sure how long I'll keep this anyway. I seem to have an issue with keeping avatars for very long. 
    
    Edit: I already changed it back to my recent "standard" avatar, haha. PM me if you want to know where I found that death star image and modified it to be that avatar. 

    Last edited by eht13, May 17, 2013

    eht13, May 17, 2013 at 8:13 PMReport

    #13LikeReply
14. BlipJedi Knight

    Member Since:

    Feb 6, 2004

    Indeed! I half expect the top half to start flapping open and closed!! 
    
    I suppose I should really get my butt in gear and put an avatar up myself... I spent so long lurking around here I never really saw the point in loading one up. 

    Blip, May 17, 2013 at 10:37 PMReport

    #14LikeReply

    eht13 likes this.
15. Darth_CorvusEpisode VII Treatment Contest Winner

    Game Winner

    Member Since:

    Jun 18, 2010

    

    Will be hard to pick the TOP10 from this 6. Now let's begin reading. Bye real world. Gonna be back in like 2 hours

    <p align=center><a target=_blank href=http://www.nodiatis.com/personality.htm><img border=0 src=http://www.nodiatis.com/pub/11.jpg></a></p>

    Darth_Corvus, May 17, 2013 at 10:43 PMReport

    #15LikeReply
16. Darth ChiznukJedi Grand Master

    Member Since:

    Oct 31, 2012

    

    Some great work here! I'm very mad at myself because I got too busy this week and never did finish mine. Oh well, good luck everyone. 

    "Once more the Sith will rule the forums... And we shall have peace!" - Darth Chiznuk

    Darth Chiznuk, May 17, 2013 at 11:46 PMReport

    #16LikeReply
17. Han YoloJedi Master

    Member Since:

    Mar 7, 2013

    

    I can honestly say I am SUPER impressed with all of these! Great job!

    Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side...

    Han Yolo, May 18, 2013 at 1:07 AMReport

    #17LikeReply
18. I Are The InternetsJedi Grand Master

    Member Since:

    Nov 21, 2012

    

    These are all well written and make me happy.

    "And lo for then on the 8th day God said let there be internets, and there were shiny tubes of it."
    "On the 9th day God created the EU as a joke."
    "On the 10th day God declared pizza. And there was much rejoicing."

    I Are The Internets, May 18, 2013 at 1:37 AMReport

    #18LikeReply
19. DarthApprenticeJedi Master

    Member Since:

    May 18, 2011

    

    Great works guys/gals! Good reads.

    DarthApprentice, May 19, 2013 at 2:50 AMReport

    #19LikeReply
20. JabariEpisode VII Treatment Contest Winner

    Game Winner

    Member Since:

    Jun 26, 2007

    

    Yes, nice job everyone! 

    Jabari, May 19, 2013 at 12:24 PMReport

    #20LikeReply
21. Darth CornishJedi Master

    Member Since:

    Nov 7, 2000

    

    Great stuff all round.
    But... User A - Del Solo? have you seen Only Fools and Horses?

    He who dares Rodney, he who dares.

    Darth Cornish, May 22, 2013 at 3:40 AMReport

    #21LikeReply

    The Hellhammer likes this.
22. BlipJedi Knight

    Member Since:

    Feb 6, 2004

    Darth Cornish said: ↑

    Great stuff all round.
    But... User A - Del Solo? have you seen Only Fools and Horses?

    
    Yeah, admittedly I'm not a fan of that bit. Or the use of any other common-use names... I make an exception -one exception- for Luke. Coz, y'know, he's George Lucas' wannabe alter ego. 

    Blip, May 23, 2013 at 12:39 AMReport

    #22LikeReply
23. A Chorus of DisapprovalEpisode VII Riot Deterrent

    Moderator

    Member Since:

    Aug 20, 2003

    

    ...and Frank. Frank Palpatine.

    "Men in general are quick to believe that which they wish to be true".

    A Chorus of Disapproval, May 23, 2013 at 1:48 AMReport

    #23LikeReply

    Darth_Corvus likes this.
24. Darth_CorvusEpisode VII Treatment Contest Winner

    Game Winner

    Member Since:

    Jun 18, 2010

    

    A Chorus of Disapproval said: ↑

    ...and Frank. Frank Palpatine.

    He will never live it down. Shame the Plagueis novel didn't give a nod to it. Still it is kinda funny that Luke Skywalker, Ben Kenobi, Frank Palpatine and Kyle Katarn live together with people like Lando Calrissian, Finnis Valorum or Exar Kun

    <p align=center><a target=_blank href=http://www.nodiatis.com/personality.htm><img border=0 src=http://www.nodiatis.com/pub/11.jpg></a></p>

    Darth_Corvus, May 23, 2013 at 5:04 AMReport

    #24LikeReply

    A Chorus of Disapproval likes this.
25. JabariEpisode VII Treatment Contest Winner

    Game Winner

    Member Since:

    Jun 26, 2007

    

    I think the occasional use of a "common" first name is ok. Owen, Luke, Ben are all common names. Modified or unusual real names are much better: Han is close to Hans, Corran is close to Corin. Leia and Juhani are obscure but real names (Biblical Greek form of Leah, and Finnish form of John, respectively). According to Google Translate, Finis Valorum is "end of values" in Latin.
    
    Last names, though...nobody in Star Wars should have the last name of Smith. The equivalent of Smith in the Star Wars universe should be Antilles. 

    Jabari, May 23, 2013 at 6:44 AMReport

    #25LikeReply

    Blip likes this.

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TheForce.netJedi Council Forums>Star Wars Films and Lucasfilm Projects>Star Wars: Episode VII and Beyond>

CONTEST Treatment Contest Round 1

Discussion in 'Star Wars: Episode VII and Beyond' started by PrincessKenobi, May 17, 2013.

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Moderators: A Chorus of Disapproval, DarthBoba, eht13, Jedi Merkurian, mavjade, PrincessKenobi, sethg

1. bellatrollJedi Youngling

   Member Since:

   Feb 22, 2013

   Juhani are obscure

   Well, for you perhaps. I have three Juhanis in my (not immediate ) family 

   Last edited by bellatroll, Sunday at 3:03 AM

   bellatroll, May 26, 2013 at 3:02 AMReport

   #26LikeReply

   Jabari likes this.
2. JabariEpisode VII Treatment Contest Winner

   Game Winner

   Member Since:

   Jun 26, 2007

   

   Awesome. 

   Jabari, May 26, 2013 at 10:19 AMReport

   #27LikeReply
3. JedsithorEpisode VII Treatment Contest Winner

   Game Winner

   Member Since:

   Oct 2, 2005

   

   I guess the voting will start soon?

   Jedsithor, Tuesday at 8:24 AMReport

   #28LikeReply
4. PrincessKenobiE7 TOR SWTV Manager of Time and Space

   Manager

   Member Since:

   Aug 12, 2000

   

   We are discussing how to proceed, since we didn't have 10 entries.

   I hate Theon Greyjoy.

   PrincessKenobi, Tuesday at 8:45 AMReport

   #29LikeReply
5. A Chorus of DisapprovalEpisode VII Riot Deterrent

   Moderator

   Member Since:

   Aug 20, 2003

   

   We did not foresee that there may be basic math involved... this may take awhile. 

   "Men in general are quick to believe that which they wish to be true".

   A Chorus of Disapproval, Tuesday at 8:47 AMReport

   #30LikeReply

   PrincessKenobi and Darth_Corvus like this.
6. Darth_CorvusEpisode VII Treatment Contest Winner

   Game Winner

   Member Since:

   Jun 18, 2010

   

   Well a top 3 would be kinda stupid cause the last round will determine the top 3. I'd suggest removing the one with the least votes and get it going with the other 5. On the off chance mine get's in, could you please include the unfinished parts this time?

   <p align=center><a target=_blank href=http://www.nodiatis.com/personality.htm><img border=0 src=http://www.nodiatis.com/pub/11.jpg></a></p>

   Darth_Corvus, Tuesday at 7:45 PMReport

   #31LikeReply
7. PrincessKenobiE7 TOR SWTV Manager of Time and Space

   Manager

   Member Since:

   Aug 12, 2000

   

   Well we've actually decided because you all worked so hard that we would give you all vipship for the work you did.

   I hate Theon Greyjoy.

   PrincessKenobi, Wednesday at 7:20 AMReport

   #32LikeReply
8. PrincessKenobiE7 TOR SWTV Manager of Time and Space

   Manager

   Member Since:

   Aug 12, 2000

   

   I will let them reveal which story belongs to who. And I will be updating one of them as soon as I'm done with viping everyone. Please everyone give them a round of applause.
   
   @Darth Archimage @Jedi General Gelderd @Original Oatmeal @Jabari @Darth_Corvus @Jedsithor

   I hate Theon Greyjoy.

   PrincessKenobi, Wednesday at 7:29 AMReport

   #33LikeReply

   Darth Chiznuk likes this.
9. Darth ChiznukJedi Grand Master

   Member Since:

   Oct 31, 2012

   

   Really great job everybody! They were great to read. 

   "Once more the Sith will rule the forums... And we shall have peace!" - Darth Chiznuk

   Darth Chiznuk, Wednesday at 7:48 AMReport

   #34LikeReply
10. JedsithorEpisode VII Treatment Contest Winner

    Game Winner

    Member Since:

    Oct 2, 2005

    

    Huzzah. I can talk now. I am User A. I wrote "The Jedi Heretics" with Del-Boy Solo. 
    
    I saw a couple of people asking about the names so now that the cat's out of the bag, I figure I should address it. Yes, I have seen Only Fools And Horses but no, Del isn't named after Derek Trotter. He was originally going to be called "Zel" but "Del" seem easier on the tongue. There was actually a logic to the naming of the characters, though some of them (like Val) were temporary names.
    
    Because my treatment dealt only with film-canon (thus Chewie lives), I wanted to employ some kind of naming convention that fit within the previous movies. I decided that Han's son's name would be a single syllable name and have three letters, like Han and the daughter would be a double syllable name and have four letters, ending in a vowel, like Leia (though in the treatment I did raise the possibility of shortening "Anna" to "Ana" to give it a slightly unusual spelling.
    
    As far as using "real" names goes, there are a few in the Star Wars movies already. Luke, Ben, even Leia (though it's usually spelled "Leah" or "Lea") and it was important that the names were easy to remember and to say. As I said, I went back and forth on how to spell Anna and as for Seth, every piece of Star Was fiction I've done in recent years (including the Kotor movie trilogy machinima) has featured a character called "Seth Draze." It's just one of those things I like to throw in. I deliberately decided against giving names to "The Voice" and "The Glorious One" because they are supposed to remain somewhat of a mystery. The idea was that their names are meaningless, only their purpose carries any weight. I even left the planet nameless (I initially considered Korriban but these guys aren't Sith so I decided against it) because the whole thing is supposed to be beyond the knowledge of the heroes.
    
    As for what their purpose is, and the plot in general, after the destruction of the Sith in Return Of The Jedi, I didn't want to rehash that old conflict. So the idea I had was to create a kind of extra-galactic cult who are strong in the Force but if you were to try to sense the Force within them, you'd sense nothing. I do have an inkling that if you took a Midichlorian count, it would come up zero. These guys apparently lack the Force altogether, yet they wield it like masters. There's a paradox in Star Wars that says life creates the Force but life couldn't exist without the Force and that's ultimately what I want to explore across the trilogy. Can life exist without the Force? Or does the Force itself have an opposite? An Anti-Force? The Voice is capable of healing people and in Episode VIII, you would see a character perform a genuine resurrection. I guess the idea was to take the philosophy and metaphysics that were only discussed in the previous films and make them real.
    
    But who is The Glorious One? To be honest, I don't quite know yet. I do know that he would have come from the netherworld of the Force. He'd effectively be a Force Ghost though not necessarily a Jedi. And no it's not Palpatine. My thinking right now is that he's either an ancient Force user from before the dawn of the Jedi, or a manifestation of the Anti-Force...I say Anti-Force, I'm really talking about death, or a lack of life. If the Force exists because life exists, what exists in realms where there is no life? The notion I have is that in Episode IX, Luke would return as a ghost to do battle with The Glorious One (possibly alongside other ghost Jedi). Obi-Wan once said "If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine" and Episode IX would explore that to a degree with the very nature of the Force and all life in the galaxy at stake.
    
    So yeah, if anyone has any thoughts or questions about things I did in the treatment, feel free to ask.

    Jedsithor, Wednesday at 8:34 AMReport

    #35LikeReply
11. A Chorus of DisapprovalEpisode VII Riot Deterrent

    Moderator

    Member Since:

    Aug 20, 2003

    

    Congrats, VIPs.

    "Men in general are quick to believe that which they wish to be true".

    A Chorus of Disapproval, Wednesday at 9:17 AMReport

    #36LikeReply
12. Slash78Jedi Master

    Member Since:

    Jul 30, 2004

    

    Jabari said: ↑

    I think the occasional use of a "common" first name is ok. Owen, Luke, Ben are all common names. Modified or unusual real names are much better: Han is close to Hans, Corran is close to Corin. Leia and Juhani are obscure but real names (Biblical Greek form of Leah, and Finnish form of John, respectively). According to Google Translate, Finis Valorum is "end of values" in Latin.
    
    Last names, though...nobody in Star Wars should have the last name of Smith. The equivalent of Smith in the Star Wars universe should be Antilles. 

    
    Sorry, Antilles is already the Star Wars of Jones, as in Corellia Antilles. You'll have to come up with another one for Smith.

    Slash78, Wednesday at 1:01 PMReport

    #37LikeReply

    Jabari likes this.
13. Jedi General GelderdEpisode VII Treatment Contest Winner

    Game Winner

    Member Since:

    Mar 7, 2004

    

    Brilliant stuff - I am User C; "The Creeping Fear". 
    
    It's annoying partly, as after writing this and submitting it I neglected an idea I had for sequences on Dantooine with Ben and Kish before they enter the ruins, maybe in some wilderness or a local town, sort of like the Mos Espa scenes in 'The Phantom Menace' that shows the locals and develop a bit of character.
    
    And I originally was going to have Han killed at the end saving Leia from an attack but that seemed a bit too cliche, so with the sudden reveal of the Sith taking Leia's life with the introduction of Grand Admiral Thrawn working with them (for fans of the EU and not, sort of mixed them both together for his character) I felt it Leia was killed, it would leave a broken family and broken heroes with a new generation forced to heal wounds and prove unity is stronger in the face of adversity...all that stuff.
    
    It was great fun to do though, hope you all enjoyed the read. I sure did with the other treatments!
    
    Thanks to @PrincessKenobi for the chance to do it! 

    "For some time, your world has sheltered one of my citizens. I request that you return this individual to my custody.

    Surrender within 24 hours, or watch this world suffer the consequences..."

    General of the New Galactic Empire Army

    Senator for Tython in the SWC Senate

    Jedi General Gelderd, Wednesday at 2:47 PMReport

    #38LikeReply
14. JedsithorEpisode VII Treatment Contest Winner

    Game Winner

    Member Since:

    Oct 2, 2005

    

    Heh, I thought about killing Han too. Luke was always going to die but I did consider having Han die with him. I decided against it because I thought of a role for Han in the sequels. Then I thought about killing Chewie and again, a plot idea for a later film stopped it. I have this notion of Han, Lando and Chewie going on an adventure, attempting to recruit the scum of the galaxy for the war effort and the possibilities of having the three of them on a ship together were too hilarious for me to kill either Han or Chewie. Needless to say, by that point Lando is no longer President. 
    
    Killing Luke was always necessary, first to push Leia into the role of a Jedi leader and second, because Luke has a big role in Episode IX but he needs to be dead for it to happen. Also, Qui-Gon dies in Episode I and Obi-Wan dies in Episode IV so having Luke carry on that tradition made sense.

    Jedsithor, Wednesday at 7:22 PMReport

    #39LikeReply
15. rocknroll41Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:

    Wednesday

    you all did an excellent job. The one that got my attention the most was the "Jedi Heretics" one. That was terrific. Congrats to all of you

    rocknroll41, Wednesday at 7:47 PMReport

    #40LikeReply
16. Darth_CorvusEpisode VII Treatment Contest Winner

    Game Winner

    Member Since:

    Jun 18, 2010

    

    Well that was fun. Thanks for the last minute correction, Princess! Proud user B here. Hope the real screenwriter won't get any relationship issues or we might get a rushed movie. Any kind of comment would be welcome.

    <p align=center><a target=_blank href=http://www.nodiatis.com/personality.htm><img border=0 src=http://www.nodiatis.com/pub/11.jpg></a></p>

    Darth_Corvus, Wednesday at 10:09 PMReport

    #41LikeReply
17. Darth ArchimageEpisode VII Treatment Contest Winner

    Game Winner

    Member Since:

    Tuesday

    Jedi General Gelderd said: ↑

    Brilliant stuff - I am User C; "The Creeping Fear". 
    
    It's annoying partly, as after writing this and submitting it I neglected an idea I had for sequences on Dantooine with Ben and Kish before they enter the ruins, maybe in some wilderness or a local town, sort of like the Mos Espa scenes in 'The Phantom Menace' that shows the locals and develop a bit of character.
    
    And I originally was going to have Han killed at the end saving Leia from an attack but that seemed a bit too cliche, so with the sudden reveal of the Sith taking Leia's life with the introduction of Grand Admiral Thrawn working with them (for fans of the EU and not, sort of mixed them both together for his character) I felt it Leia was killed, it would leave a broken family and broken heroes with a new generation forced to heal wounds and prove unity is stronger in the face of adversity...all that stuff.
    
    It was great fun to do though, hope you all enjoyed the read. I sure did with the other treatments!
    
    Thanks to @PrincessKenobi for the chance to do it! 

    After submitting E - Rise of the Fallen, I have to admit that I was also frustrated by not getting all my ideas in. My struggle came with balancing the original character's time with the new characters, looking back I probably have too many characters to begin with. In my revisions, I have given Han a bigger and more important roll but unfortunately have had to kill Lando and Chewy off.
    
    It was a lot of fun - nice job to everyone else who submitted.

    Darth Archimage, Wednesday at 11:33 PMReport

    #42LikeReply
18. A Chorus of DisapprovalEpisode VII Riot Deterrent

    Moderator

    Member Since:

    Aug 20, 2003

    

    @Darth Archimage: We are just glad you finally started actually posting.

    "Men in general are quick to believe that which they wish to be true".

    A Chorus of Disapproval, Wednesday at 11:55 PMReport

    #43LikeReply

    Darth Archimage and eht13 like this.
19. JabariEpisode VII Treatment Contest Winner

    Game Winner

    Member Since:

    Jun 26, 2007

    

    Yes, good stuff everyone, congratulations! I am User D. And comments are welcome 
    
    I've been thinking about what I really wanted to see in a new Star Wars movie ever since they were announced, and comparing that with my current attempt to finish reading the Expanded Universe before Episode VII comes out. What is good and bad about the EU? What makes the movies so great?
    
    I think one of the things that makes the OT great is the dynamic of the three heroes. While Luke is technically the main hero, Leia and Han are essential to the plot. One of the great disappointments of the PT for me was that not enough time was shown of Obi-Wan and Anakin actually acting like friends. So I chose to have 3 protagonists. But I also didn't want to be constricted by EU continuity, so they are original characters.
    
    Maren Solo is very roughly the equivalent of Jaina Solo. I liked Jaina's personality, a lot like Han, and also I'm really sick of every time a hero has a kid, it's always a son. MacGyver, Indiana Jones (which, I might add was a retcon - in the original version of Young Indiana Jones Chronicles he had a daughter. Instead we get Mutt. ) etc. The father-daughter relationship rarely gets used, and mother-daughter always seems to be antagonistic in movies. Also, female Jedi and/or pilot who has a speaking role. So here's to something different 
    
    Jarek Windkiller has an element of Jag Fel, but I also wanted him to be the Princess Leia of this group. The voice of reason. And the love interest. Heh.  Also, there are far too many brown-haired white guys in the EU, so I wanted him to be darker skinned. I also like the idea that the Empire still exists somewhere (though not in the original form), and the Republic has come to an uneasy peace.
    
    Kora Ven - seriously, there are tons of cool aliens in Star Wars. And they're never main characters. So, who doesn't like Twi'leks? They can't all be slave dancers.  I also wanted one of the heroes to be "the shady one" to create some tension in the group. They aren't immediate friends, but their friendship is forged by events like Luke, Leia and Han.
    
    The Conglomeration is an attempt to combine some of the best ideas from the various villains throughout Star Wars. An unknown menace from an unknown region of space - BUT I didn't want to have them be a fanatical religious or xenophobic group, or aliens vs humans. Plus, I liked the idea of a non-humanoid mastermind, a Chiss commander, and a Sith joining forces. (and there has to be a Sith, so we can have lightsaber duels.)
    
    I purposely minimized Luke, Leia and Han's roles because one of the most obnoxious things in the EU for me right now is the failure to let the younger characters shine. If the story focuses too much on the original characters, the next generation suffers. Much as I love the original characters, it's time for new heroes. I also didn't want the story to be too Jedi-centric - this should be the trilogy of balance between Jedi and non-Jedi characters. More aliens, more women, more non-white characters.

    Jabari, Thursday at 1:16 AMReport

    #44LikeReply
20. Darth_CorvusEpisode VII Treatment Contest Winner

    Game Winner

    Member Since:

    Jun 18, 2010

    

    Jabari said: ↑

    Yes, good stuff everyone, congratulations! I am User D. And comments are welcome 
    
    I've been thinking about what I really wanted to see in a new Star Wars movie ever since they were announced, and comparing that with my current attempt to finish reading the Expanded Universe before Episode VII comes out. What is good and bad about the EU? What makes the movies so great?
    
    I think one of the things that makes the OT great is the dynamic of the three heroes. While Luke is technically the main hero, Leia and Han are essential to the plot. One of the great disappointments of the PT for me was that not enough time was shown of Obi-Wan and Anakin actually acting like friends. So I chose to have 3 protagonists. But I also didn't want to be constricted by EU continuity, so they are original characters.
    
    Maren Solo is very roughly the equivalent of Jaina Solo. I liked Jaina's personality, a lot like Han, and also I'm really sick of every time a hero has a kid, it's always a son. MacGyver, Indiana Jones (which, I might add was a retcon - in the original version of Young Indiana Jones Chronicles he had a daughter. Instead we get Mutt. ) etc. The father-daughter relationship rarely gets used, and mother-daughter always seems to be antagonistic in movies. Also, female Jedi and/or pilot who has a speaking role. So here's to something different 
    
    Jarek Windkiller has an element of Jag Fel, but I also wanted him to be the Princess Leia of this group. The voice of reason. And the love interest. Heh.  Also, there are far too many brown-haired white guys in the EU, so I wanted him to be darker skinned. I also like the idea that the Empire still exists somewhere (though not in the original form), and the Republic has come to an uneasy peace.
    
    Kora Ven - seriously, there are tons of cool aliens in Star Wars. And they're never main characters. So, who doesn't like Twi'leks? They can't all be slave dancers.  I also wanted one of the heroes to be "the shady one" to create some tension in the group. They aren't immediate friends, but their friendship is forged by events like Luke, Leia and Han.
    
    The Conglomeration is an attempt to combine some of the best ideas from the various villains throughout Star Wars. An unknown menace from an unknown region of space - BUT I didn't want to have them be a fanatical religious or xenophobic group, or aliens vs humans. Plus, I liked the idea of a non-humanoid mastermind, a Chiss commander, and a Sith joining forces. (and there has to be a Sith, so we can have lightsaber duels.)
    
    I purposely minimized Luke, Leia and Han's roles because one of the most obnoxious things in the EU for me right now is the failure to let the younger characters shine. If the story focuses too much on the original characters, the next generation suffers. Much as I love the original characters, it's time for new heroes. I also didn't want the story to be too Jedi-centric - this should be the trilogy of balance between Jedi and non-Jedi characters. More aliens, more women, more non-white characters.

    Well ignoring the fact that it completely disregards the EU(Which I wanted to avoid. Looks like I was the only one) I think yours is the best of the six by far.

    <p align=center><a target=_blank href=http://www.nodiatis.com/personality.htm><img border=0 src=http://www.nodiatis.com/pub/11.jpg></a></p>

    Darth_Corvus, Thursday at 2:35 AMReport

    #45LikeReply
21. The HellhammerJedi Grand Master

    Member Since:

    Nov 5, 2012

    

    Congrats to all, well deserved!

    Everything is going to kill everybody.
    
    Han signed first.

    The Hellhammer, Thursday at 3:42 AMReport

    #46LikeReply
22. JedsithorEpisode VII Treatment Contest Winner

    Game Winner

    Member Since:

    Oct 2, 2005

    

    rocknroll41 said: ↑

    you all did an excellent job. The one that got my attention the most was the "Jedi Heretics" one. That was terrific. Congrats to all of you

    Thanks.
    
    And well done to the other writers too.

    Jedsithor, Thursday at 6:10 AMReport

    #47LikeReply
23. Darth ArchimageEpisode VII Treatment Contest Winner

    Game Winner

    Member Since:

    Tuesday

    Jedsithor said: ↑

    rocknroll41 said: ↑

    you all did an excellent job. The one that got my attention the most was the "Jedi Heretics" one. That was terrific. Congrats to all of you

    Thanks.
    
    And well done to the other writers too.

    
    I have to say that "Jedi Heretics" was my favorite as well.
    I'm curious, did/do you have a cast in mind as you wrote your treatment -- who would you have play your main characters?

    Darth Archimage threw 6-faced die for: Total: 1

    

    Darth Archimage, Thursday at 6:49 AMReport

    #48LikeReply
24. JabariEpisode VII Treatment Contest Winner

    Game Winner

    Member Since:

    Jun 26, 2007

    

    Darth_Corvus said: ↑

    Well ignoring the fact that it completely disregards the EU(Which I wanted to avoid. Looks like I was the only one) I think yours is the best of the six by far.

    Thank you! I was trying to go with the spirit of the best of the EU, not get stuck on continuity. Much as I love the EU, I find it easier to write original stuff.

    Jabari, Thursday at 12:05 PMReport

    #49LikeReply
25. Darth_CorvusEpisode VII Treatment Contest Winner

    Game Winner

    Member Since:

    Jun 18, 2010

    

    Jabari said: ↑

    Darth_Corvus said: ↑

    Well ignoring the fact that it completely disregards the EU(Which I wanted to avoid. Looks like I was the only one) I think yours is the best of the six by far.

    Thank you! I was trying to go with the spirit of the best of the EU, not get stuck on continuity. Much as I love the EU, I find it easier to write original stuff. 

    True enough. Writing already established characters is hard. But with the EU being what actually brings money to Star Wars, Abrams would be stupid to retcon Kyle Katarn out of existence.
    
    Anyway hope to see something from you at the inevitable Episode VIII treatment contest

    <p align=center><a target=_blank href=http://www.nodiatis.com/personality.htm><img border=0 src=http://www.nodiatis.com/pub/11.jpg></a></p>

    Darth_Corvus, Thursday at 4:45 PMReport

    #50LikeReply

    Jabari likes this.

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Treatment Contest Round 1

Discussion in 'Star Wars: Episode VII and Beyond' started by PrincessKenobi, May 17, 2013.

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Moderators: A Chorus of Disapproval, DarthBoba, eht13, Jedi Merkurian, mavjade, PrincessKenobi, sethg

1. JedsithorEpisode VII Treatment Contest Winner

   Game Winner

   Member Since:

   Oct 2, 2005

   
   New

   Darth Archimage said: ↑

   I have to say that "Jedi Heretics" was my favorite as well.
   I'm curious, did/do you have a cast in mind as you wrote your treatment -- who would you have play your main characters?

   I'd want to follow Star Wars tradition and cast unknowns for the main three hero roles of the trilogy (Anna, Del and Val though Val isn't a lead until VIII). I'd certainly be open to casting established actors in villain and supporting roles.

   Jedsithor, Thursday at 8:32 PMReport

   #51LikeReply
2. Darth_PevraJedi Grand Master

   Member Since:

   May 21, 2008

   
   New

   Sorry, but Force Heretics isn't a very good one imo. Here my hopefully constructive critizism:
   
   The cult comes off as cliché. There is no real twist to it. If you named them Ori I wouldn't raise an eyebrow. Comparably the Vong are far more interesting.
   
   There is an overt focus on the force. Remember, having too much of a good thing isn't a good idea. Also too many Jedi main characters.
   
   Some of what is described can hardly be translated to screen like the Voice being a "force void". In a real treatment this wouldn't work.
   
   Luke's death is as cliché as it gets. The fights also come off video-gamish with Jedi hacking through hordes of enemies.
   
   A big one: Almost no internal conflicts whatsoever.
   
   Barely any worldbuilding or Sci-Fi for that matter.
   
   What I liked: Lando as president, the idea of a dark cult threatening the galaxy, having dark siders but no Sith as enemies, the mystery element

   Last edited by Darth_Pevra, Thursday at 9:46 PM

   My novels:
   Rebellion der Synthetiker: http://www.amazon.de/Rebellion-der-Synthetiker-ebook/dp/B00B1X9YB6
   Vagabunden des Alls: http://www.amazon.de/Vagabunden-des-Alls-ebook/dp/B007QY63PY

   Darth_Pevra, Thursday at 9:45 PMReport

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3. JedsithorEpisode VII Treatment Contest Winner

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   Oct 2, 2005

   
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   Darth_Pevra said: ↑

   Sorry, but Force Heretics isn't a very good one imo. Here my hopefully constructive critizism:
   
   The cult comes off as cliché. There is no real twist to it. If you named them Ori I wouldn't raise an eyebrow. Comparably the Vong are far more interesting.

   Ori...from Stargate? As for there being no real twist, like what? A secret Jedi illuminati? It's pretty much impossible to do an evil cult/religion in fantasy without an "I'm right and everyone who disagrees must be killed" motif. If there's a "twist" it's that every Sith and Jedi in history may have been completely wrong about the Force but that whole thing is something to explore across the trilogy. I really just wanted to introduce them in Episode VII, show that they're powerful and have them disappear without the heroes ever really knowing what they just went up against.
   
   

   There is an overt focus on the force. Remember, having too much of a good thing isn't a good idea. Also too many Jedi main characters.

   But my concept is about the Force so it's kind of impossible to avoid. Really what I want to do is bring some of the mystery and a sense of the unknown back to the Force. As for having too many Jedi characters, I really don't get that. Luke is a Jedi, Han and Leia's children are bound to have been trained and Leia herself has probably had some training. It's a natural progression from Return of the Jedi.
   
   

   Some of what is described can hardly be translated to screen like the Voice being a "force void". In a real treatment this wouldn't work.

   "Real" treatments generally aren't written in a single night. They're also not scripts. I put some dialogue in there but generally speaking they're just rundowns of the story. If I was actually scripting the scene there would dialogue to explain what Luke is sensing (or not sensing in this case). I'm generally a fan of "show, don't tell" but in some cases, telling is necessary. And while Luke senses emptiness in The Voice, remember this is a trilogy. Some things will remain unsolved by the end of this film (look at me, talking as if I'm going to make it ).
   
   

   Luke's death is as cliché as it gets.

   It's basically Obi-Wan's death, with the same stakes of allowing the heroes to get away but on a larger battlefield. This was deliberate and goes back to Lucas' idea for the movies of themes being repeated.
   
   

   The fights also come off video-gamish with Jedi hacking through hordes of enemies.

   Well...they're Jedi. They've got lightsabers. And being Skywalkers, they're obviously pretty powerful. Again, there is a deliberate reason for this, though it may not have come across properly in the treatment, which I apologise for. The first sequence, with Del hacking his way through the pirate ship was meant to show his power and confidence but also arrogance. When he faces The Voice's challenge, the idea is that basically he's humiliated. For all his power, he's no match for The Voice. In fact, The Voice has been toying with him the whole time. As for Luke...well, Luke is Luke. Decades after ROTJ, he's lived up to his potential and he's the most powerful Jedi, possibly ever. But even Luke has limits. The enemy they face, and this becomes more apparent in the sequels, appear to have no limits.
   
   

   A big one: Almost no internal conflicts whatsoever.

   I wouldn't say that. You have the fractured relationship between Del and Han, Del's lack of humility and his desire to show the world just how good he is. One thing I didn't really get into in the treatment, which was a mistake on my part, is that Leia doesn't really want to be a Jedi. She has the training but she's never really put it to use. In essence, she fears the power and what it might do to her. In fact, she was probably even reluctant to allow Luke to train her children. She steps into the Jedi role at the end of the movie and in Episode VII, you'd see her struggle with that. She doesn't really know how to be a Jedi.
   
   I admit I could have gone much deeper into the conflicts though I also didn't want to get too deep into it. I'm treating it as a new introduction rather than just a sequel to ROTJ. So I don't want to get too bogged down in internal conflicts. They're there of course but the characters will be developed across the trilogy.
   
   

   Barely any worldbuilding or Sci-Fi for that matter.

   I dunno, introducing a hostile threat from outside the galaxy, establishing the state of the Jedi and the Republic, dealing with Outer Rim pirates and adding a new dimension to the Force feels like world building to me. To be honest though, I wanted to keep this one relatively small. A local conflict on a single world. That conflict will escalate of course but I wanted to start relatively small. In essence, this is a new Episode 1 rather than Episode 7. It's not a new chapter, it's a whole new book. If Vader's story was volume 1 of the Journal Of The Whills, this is the start of Volume 2.
   
   As for the lack of sci-fi, well Star Wars is fantasy. That's how I approached it. It's a fairy tale.
   
   

   What I liked: Lando as president,

   For me, it had to be Lando. After Mon Mothma, maybe Leia and even Admiral Ackbar have all held office, Lando seemed to be the next logical choice. A hero of the rebellion who is also an experienced administrator of Cloud City, he's that link between the restored Republic embracing the heroes of the rebellion and moving forward beyond it to a new political atmosphere.
   
   

   the idea of a dark cult threatening the galaxy, having dark siders but no Sith as enemies

   Well they aren't really Dark Siders. They're the bad guys, they have Force powers but they don't draw on the Dark Side of the Force. In fact one of the defining characteristics of the cult is that there is no Dark Side corruption. Again, the point is to bring the mystery back to the Force.
   
   

   the mystery element

   Right. One of the key aspects of the concept is the notion that the Jedi and the Sith don't have a monopoly on the Force. We know of beings using the Force and interpreting the Force in a single galaxy. But there are billions of galaxies out there. Are there Force-users in those galaxies? What's their philosophy? How do they view the Jedi? Could they know more about the Force than even Yoda? That's something I'd explore across the trilogy. What if everything we know about the Force is wrong or misguided? What if the bad guys really do know the true nature of the Force? By the end of the movie, we know very little about the cult. We haven't met the leader, only his advocate.
   
   Bah, but I've gone on too long. Thanks for the feedback. I hope I've been able to address your points.

   Jedsithor, Yesterday at 12:08 AMReport

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   Darth Archimage and Darth Chiznuk like this.
4. Darth_PevraJedi Grand Master

   Member Since:

   May 21, 2008

   
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   Jedsithor said: ↑

   Darth_Pevra said: ↑

   Sorry, but Force Heretics isn't a very good one imo. Here my hopefully constructive critizism:
   
   The cult comes off as cliché. There is no real twist to it. If you named them Ori I wouldn't raise an eyebrow. Comparably the Vong are far more interesting.

   Ori...from Stargate? As for there being no real twist, like what? A secret Jedi illuminati? It's pretty much impossible to do an evil cult/religion in fantasy without an "I'm right and everyone who disagrees must be killed" motif. If there's a "twist" it's that every Sith and Jedi in history may have been completely wrong about the Force but that whole thing is something to explore across the trilogy. I really just wanted to introduce them in Episode VII, show that they're powerful and have them disappear without the heroes ever really knowing what they just went up against.

   I'd introduce a mechanism how the followers are controlled to spice things up. Or a caste system. Or anything really. I'm just saying that right now this is basic dark cult without much specialness to it.
   
   

   Jedsithor said: ↑

   There is an overt focus on the force. Remember, having too much of a good thing isn't a good idea. Also too many Jedi main characters.

   But my concept is about the Force so it's kind of impossible to avoid. Really what I want to do is bring some of the mystery and a sense of the unknown back to the Force. As for having too many Jedi characters, I really don't get that. Luke is a Jedi, Han and Leia's children are bound to have been trained and Leia herself has probably had some training. It's a natural progression from Return of the Jedi.

   I'd introduce a military threat allied to the spiritual threat.
   
   

   Jedsithor said: ↑

   Luke's death is as cliché as it gets.

   It's basically Obi-Wan's death, with the same stakes of allowing the heroes to get away but on a larger battlefield. This was deliberate and goes back to Lucas' idea for the movies of themes being repeated.

   Jupp, I noticed. But if you rhyme something it usually shouldn't be a direct repetition. There should be something Unexpected about the rhyme. Have you seen the new Star Trek? Something like that is better than a straight repetition.
   
   

   Jedsithor said: ↑

   The fights also come off video-gamish with Jedi hacking through hordes of enemies.

   Well...they're Jedi. They've got lightsabers. And being Skywalkers, they're obviously pretty powerful. Again, there is a deliberate reason for this, though it may not have come across properly in the treatment, which I apologise for. The first sequence, with Del hacking his way through the pirate ship was meant to show his power and confidence but also arrogance. When he faces The Voice's challenge, the idea is that basically he's humiliated. For all his power, he's no match for The Voice. In fact, The Voice has been toying with him the whole time. As for Luke...well, Luke is Luke. Decades after ROTJ, he's lived up to his potential and he's the most powerful Jedi, possibly ever. But even Luke has limits. The enemy they face, and this becomes more apparent in the sequels, appear to have no limits.

   I don't remember a single Star Wars movie about slashing through living and breathing beings with a lightsaber. Imo it is not what the Jedi are about. Your point about Del's arrogance also gets lost when every Jedi is seen as slashing through hordes of mooks.
   Also having Jedi be the only powerful beings in the galaxy could make the galaxy look very small.
   
   

   Jedsithor said: ↑

   A big one: Almost no internal conflicts whatsoever.

   I wouldn't say that. You have the fractured relationship between Del and Han, Del's lack of humility and his desire to show the world just how good he is. One thing I didn't really get into in the treatment, which was a mistake on my part, is that Leia doesn't really want to be a Jedi. She has the training but she's never really put it to use. In essence, she fears the power and what it might do to her. In fact, she was probably even reluctant to allow Luke to train her children. She steps into the Jedi role at the end of the movie and in Episode VII, you'd see her struggle with that. She doesn't really know how to be a Jedi.
   
   I admit I could have gone much deeper into the conflicts though I also didn't want to get too deep into it. I'm treating it as a new introduction rather than just a sequel to ROTJ. So I don't want to get too bogged down in internal conflicts. They're there of course but the characters will be developed across the trilogy.

   Maybe you could expand on Hans and Del's relationship a bit more. Right now it seems hardly relevant for the plot. I like the defeat of Del by the Voice however. I did notice this (especially as you later show Luke fighting against the Voice and defeating it, displaying the difference between pupil and master).
   
   

   Jedsithor said: ↑

   Barely any worldbuilding or Sci-Fi for that matter.

   I dunno, introducing a hostile threat from outside the galaxy, establishing the state of the Jedi and the Republic, dealing with Outer Rim pirates and adding a new dimension to the Force feels like world building to me. To be honest though, I wanted to keep this one relatively small. A local conflict on a single world. That conflict will escalate of course but I wanted to start relatively small. In essence, this is a new Episode 1 rather than Episode 7. It's not a new chapter, it's a whole new book. If Vader's story was volume 1 of the Journal Of The Whills, this is the start of Volume 2.
   
   As for the lack of sci-fi, well Star Wars is fantasy. That's how I approached it. It's a fairy tale.

   Hm, okay. But it is good to keep in mind that exotic locations and even more exotic aliens were always a cornerstone of the universe. If you watch the movies they are filled to the brim with creative inventions.
   
   

   Jedsithor said: ↑

   the idea of a dark cult threatening the galaxy, having dark siders but no Sith as enemies

   Well they aren't really Dark Siders. They're the bad guys, they have Force powers but they don't draw on the Dark Side of the Force. In fact one of the defining characteristics of the cult is that there is no Dark Side corruption. Again, the point is to bring the mystery back to the Force.

   Interesting.
   
   

   Jedsithor said: ↑

   the mystery element

   Right. One of the key aspects of the concept is the notion that the Jedi and the Sith don't have a monopoly on the Force. We know of beings using the Force and interpreting the Force in a single galaxy. But there are billions of galaxies out there. Are there Force-users in those galaxies? What's their philosophy? How do they view the Jedi? Could they know more about the Force than even Yoda? That's something I'd explore across the trilogy. What if everything we know about the Force is wrong or misguided? What if the bad guys really do know the true nature of the Force? By the end of the movie, we know very little about the cult. We haven't met the leader, only his advocate.
   
   Bah, but I've gone on too long. Thanks for the feedback. I hope I've been able to address your points.

   While these questions are interesting, don't forget that the universe is much more than just the force. You can ask many questions why the universe works as it does. I'm personally working on a SF-universe without magic and I still never run out of questions to ask.

   My novels:
   Rebellion der Synthetiker: http://www.amazon.de/Rebellion-der-Synthetiker-ebook/dp/B00B1X9YB6
   Vagabunden des Alls: http://www.amazon.de/Vagabunden-des-Alls-ebook/dp/B007QY63PY

   Darth_Pevra, Yesterday at 12:59 AMReport

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5. Darth_PevraJedi Grand Master

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   May 21, 2008

   
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   Btw. I like treatment C best. Kudos to the creator. 

   My novels:
   Rebellion der Synthetiker: http://www.amazon.de/Rebellion-der-Synthetiker-ebook/dp/B00B1X9YB6
   Vagabunden des Alls: http://www.amazon.de/Vagabunden-des-Alls-ebook/dp/B007QY63PY

   Darth_Pevra, Yesterday at 1:12 AMReport

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6. Darth_CorvusEpisode VII Treatment Contest Winner

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   Darth_Pevra said: ↑

   Btw. I like treatment C best. Kudos to the creator. 

   Creeping Fear? Dunno. With Thrawn working for a mysteriously alive Revan it sounds too much like a star wars fan's wet dream. I still think that E is by far the best.

   <p align=center><a target=_blank href=http://www.nodiatis.com/personality.htm><img border=0 src=http://www.nodiatis.com/pub/11.jpg></a></p>

   Darth_Corvus, Yesterday at 2:02 AMReport

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7. Darth_PevraJedi Grand Master

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   May 21, 2008

   
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   It's actually quite smart to use popular EU characters for marketing reasons.
   
   What I also like is how the treatment deals mostly with a military/political threat and how shocking Leia's death would be.

   Last edited by Darth_Pevra, Yesterday at 2:09 AM

   My novels:
   Rebellion der Synthetiker: http://www.amazon.de/Rebellion-der-Synthetiker-ebook/dp/B00B1X9YB6
   Vagabunden des Alls: http://www.amazon.de/Vagabunden-des-Alls-ebook/dp/B007QY63PY

   Darth_Pevra, Yesterday at 2:09 AMReport

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8. JedsithorEpisode VII Treatment Contest Winner

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   Darth_Pevra said: ↑

   I'd introduce a mechanism how the followers are controlled to spice things up. Or a caste system. Or anything really. I'm just saying that right now this is basic dark cult without much specialness to it.
   
   I'd introduce a military threat allied to the spiritual threat.

   There is a military threat. Episode VIII would actually open with a massive galactic invasion. The cult in the Star Wars galaxy may be small and apparently new, but there is an entire civilisation outside the galaxy that has lived with this cult for as long as the Jedi have existed. When I say massive, I mean the Outer Rim is pretty much conquered in the first 15 minutes of the film. The unknown aliens following The Voice are part of that extragalactic civilisation and its military.
   
   In many ways, this conflict is inspired by the Crusades, with the Force itself being Jerusalem.
   
   
   

   Jupp, I noticed. But if you rhyme something it usually shouldn't be a direct repetition. There should be something Unexpected about the rhyme. Have you seen the new Star Trek? Something like that is better than a straight repetition.

   Ugh, no. What Into Darkness did was horrible and it was an example of straight repetition. Oh they swapped the roles but man I really hope those writers are kept far away from Star Wars. That whole movie was a mess and it's made me very apprehensive about Abrams doing Star Wars. The only saving grace is that he's a Star Wars fan.
   
   
   

   I don't remember a single Star Wars movie about slashing through living and breathing beings with a lightsaber. Imo it is not what the Jedi are about. Your point about Del's arrogance also gets lost when every Jedi is seen as slashing through hordes of mooks.
   Also having Jedi be the only powerful beings in the galaxy could make the galaxy look very small.

   The poor Geonosians might have something to say about that. We haven't really seen Jedi go up against flesh and blood enemies who weren't Sith apart from the Geonosians and a couple of stormtroopers. Yoda certainly had no trouble taking out clone troopers.
   
   In any case, there is no Jedi Order in this movie. There are Jedi out there but I don't want to return to the old ways of the Jedi serving the Senate and being corrupted by war and politics. The Jedi gather if there's a threat but for the most part they're on their own, out in the galaxy. You won't see the Jedi leading armies in this trilogy. In fact many of them will choose not to fight. That's another question I want to explore - what does it mean to be a Jedi? OK, there wasn't as much of that as I'd have liked in the treatment but it's something I do have plans for.
   
   
   

   Hm, okay. But it is good to keep in mind that exotic locations and even more exotic aliens were always a cornerstone of the universe. If you watch the movies they are filled to the brim with creative inventions.

   One thing you might notice is that I rarely mentioned species in the treatment. The Voice and his extragalactic followers are aliens of unknown origin, the main heroes are human but everyone else is basically up for grabs. I'm more interested in "who" than "what" they are. The "what" only comes into play if it's relevant to the character's story. As for locations, well the cult world (which is nameless because it's uncharted) looks a lot like a nuclear wasteland. There's really only three locations in the film - the asteroid mine where the opening space battle takes place, Coruscant and the cult world. As I said, the idea is to keep it small and then massively expand in the sequels.
   
   

   While these questions are interesting, don't forget that the universe is much more than just the force. You can ask many questions why the universe works as it does. I'm personally working on a SF-universe without magic and I still never run out of questions to ask.

   Oh believe me, there's much more than the Force at play here. The Force is centre stage but in one of the sequels for example, I want to get deep into the galactic crime outfits, an arc that won't feature a single lightsaber.

   Jedsithor, Yesterday at 2:34 AMReport

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9. Darth_PevraJedi Grand Master

   Member Since:

   May 21, 2008

   
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   Jedsithor said: ↑

   Ugh, no. What Into Darkness did was horrible and it was an example of straight repetition. Oh they swapped the roles but man I really hope those writers are kept far away from Star Wars. That whole movie was a mess and it's made me very apprehensive about Abrams doing Star Wars. The only saving grace is that he's a Star Wars fan.

   I actually found it very interesting as the differences in dialogue highlight the characters differences. Kirk for instance admits to being scared, something Spock didn't do at all in TWOK.

   My novels:
   Rebellion der Synthetiker: http://www.amazon.de/Rebellion-der-Synthetiker-ebook/dp/B00B1X9YB6
   Vagabunden des Alls: http://www.amazon.de/Vagabunden-des-Alls-ebook/dp/B007QY63PY

   Darth_Pevra, Yesterday at 2:43 AMReport

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10. Darth_CorvusEpisode VII Treatment Contest Winner

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    Darth_Pevra said: ↑

    It's actually quite smart to use popular EU characters for marketing reasons.
    
    What I also like is how the treatment deals mostly with a military/political threat and how shocking Leia's death would be.

    Well if things wouldn't have gone to hell with Trixi I would have included quite many EU characters. How it was executed here is what bothers me. But that's just my opinion and it's not like I can write

    <p align=center><a target=_blank href=http://www.nodiatis.com/personality.htm><img border=0 src=http://www.nodiatis.com/pub/11.jpg></a></p>

    Darth_Corvus, Yesterday at 3:19 AMReport

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11. Darth_PevraJedi Grand Master

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    May 21, 2008

    
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    Didn't say it was perfect, just that in my opinion it is the best of the bunch. Might have to reread yours however. Wasn't as attentive when I did.

    My novels:
    Rebellion der Synthetiker: http://www.amazon.de/Rebellion-der-Synthetiker-ebook/dp/B00B1X9YB6
    Vagabunden des Alls: http://www.amazon.de/Vagabunden-des-Alls-ebook/dp/B007QY63PY

    Darth_Pevra, Yesterday at 3:21 AMReport

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12. A Chorus of DisapprovalEpisode VII Riot Deterrent

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    Hi!  Friendly reminder: This thread is supposed to be affording our contestants an opportunity to be congratulated... not another auxiliary EU debate thread. Thank you in advance.

    "Men in general are quick to believe that which they wish to be true".

    A Chorus of Disapproval, Yesterday at 3:30 AMReport

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    eht13, PrincessKenobi, Darth Chiznuk and 1 other person like this.
13. JabariEpisode VII Treatment Contest Winner

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    Darth_Corvus said: ↑

    Jabari said: ↑

    Darth_Corvus said: ↑

    Well ignoring the fact that it completely disregards the EU(Which I wanted to avoid. Looks like I was the only one) I think yours is the best of the six by far.

    Thank you! I was trying to go with the spirit of the best of the EU, not get stuck on continuity. Much as I love the EU, I find it easier to write original stuff. 

    True enough. Writing already established characters is hard. But with the EU being what actually brings money to Star Wars, Abrams would be stupid to retcon Kyle Katarn out of existence.
    
    Anyway hope to see something from you at the inevitable Episode VIII treatment contest

    Abrams would be stupid to retcon Mara Jade (unless it is to make her not dead!) Personally, I don't really care about Kyle Katarn though. And this is the problem with sticking to EU canon for the new movies - everyone has their favorites. Sometimes you just have to come up with new stuff.
    
    And I do have ideas for Episode VIII already...so if there's a contest, I'll probably be there. 
    
    
    Did anyone else have a really hard time coming up with a title? I think that was the hardest part. Nothing I thought of sounded like a Star Wars movie to me.

    Jabari, Yesterday at 7:30 AMReport

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14. JedsithorEpisode VII Treatment Contest Winner

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    Jabari said: ↑

    Abrams would be stupid to retcon Mara Jade (unless it is to make her not dead!) Personally, I don't really care about Kyle Katarn though. And this is the problem with sticking to EU canon for the new movies - everyone has their favorites. Sometimes you just have to come up with new stuff.
    
    And I do have ideas for Episode VIII already...so if there's a contest, I'll probably be there. 
    
    
    Did anyone else have a really hard time coming up with a title? I think that was the hardest part. Nothing I thought of sounded like a Star Wars movie to me.

    I didn't use any EU because I wanted to do something new. I have the basic plots of Episodes 8 and 9 planned out though no specific scene breakdowns yet.
    
    The title kicked my ass. "The Jedi Heretics" is a temporary title. I needed a title along the lines of A New Hope and The Phantom Menace but every time I came up with one it just sounded like a variation of one of those two.

    Jedsithor, Yesterday at 11:22 AMReport

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15. Jedi General GelderdEpisode VII Treatment Contest Winner

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    Darth_Pevra said: ↑

    Btw. I like treatment C best. Kudos to the creator. 

    That would be me, my friend - thank you for that, I appreciate the kind words! Glad you enjoyed it. 
    
    I know it was risky using EU characters but wanted to imagine none of that happened for followers of just the films and use "new characters" for them, whilst sparking interest of hardcore fans using established names for a chance to see them on screen.
    
    Also, I loved reading them all and feel real talent out there for crafting stories in such a wider universe as the Star Wars one!

    "For some time, your world has sheltered one of my citizens. I request that you return this individual to my custody.

    Surrender within 24 hours, or watch this world suffer the consequences..."

    General of the New Galactic Empire Army

    Senator for Tython in the SWC Senate

    Jedi General Gelderd, Yesterday at 2:40 PMReport

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16. SistrosVIP

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    congratulations to everybody who entered,
    
    and to the winners 

    Sistros, Yesterday at 9:59 PMReport

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17. Original OatmealEpisode VII Treatment Contest Winner

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    I have been watching through some review videos of the History of the Power Rangers (PR). I mention this because Disney purchased the Power Rangers around a decade ago for a few years. I compare how the Power Rangers was before Disney & during Disney. PR is on their 20th season, which started in the year 1993. When I was 10 years old in 1996, I made an hour long Power Rangers fan film with my family & friends in the ghetto.
    
    Disney moved the PR productions to New Zealand, in order to save money. During the tenth anniversary of the show, they wanted to have a huge reunion arch with all the previous teams from the last 10 years. Disney replied, "Why do you want to advertise old toys?" They ended up compromising by making a single reunion episode, as oppose to a 5-part episode arch. Later, Disney was planning on cancelling PR. Disney was going to just show reruns in order to save money. That is when somebody suggested making PR in New Zealand. People in New Zealand are not allowed to watch this show due to the excess violence.
    
    Disney gave the Power Rangers back to Saban.
    
    But Disney will surely keep Star Wars, forever, most likely.
    
    I really hope Disney does not mess things up with Star Wars.
    
    Did I really win the contest? Oh, wait, everybody won? But there will be a second round in this contest, right?