Wednesday, June 19, 2013

I Am Single Because I Ate My "Girl Friend"





    • Original Oatmeal
      about an hour ago near Ho Chi Minh City
      I am single. I was single. I am not in a relationship. I was not in a relationship. I have never been in "Courtship-Relationships." I am available. I am free. I was free. I was available. I do not have a girl friend. I do not have a boy friend. I do not even have a pet dog or guinea-pig.



      I do not have a girl friend. I did not have a girl friend. I am single. I am not married. I have never been married. I have never had a girl friend.

      I am friends with Kathy. I was friends with Kathy. I am still friends with Kathy but Kathy calls everybody "Boy Friends" or "Girl Friends."

      I tried correcting her English. I tell her to call guys your "Male Friends" as oppose to your "Boy Friends." Just call them "Male Friends" or friends in general. I try correcting people's English, but like Hny Tram, she does not like being reproofed. I am an English Teacher. I have always been a teacher since I tried being the teacher for my younger sister when I was only 9 years old. We were both home-schooled back then in the ghetto (poor neighborhoods) of Forest Grove, Oregon, United States of northern America.


      In the past, I purposely and specifically referred to Kathy as my "Girl Friend" but in quotation-marks as to emphasize on the fact that Kathy was my so-called "Girl-Friend" as oppose to my actual girl friend.




      In real-life, would I do that? No. I would not really talk about my actual girl friend in those kinds of ways, that is if I were to ever have an actual girl friend or wife someday.

      People who know me better may know that I rarely refer to my own mother as my "Mother," let alone male or female friends. I do not call people wonderful things, or not exactly.




      No Titles

      I rarely give people titles, except to characterize them with the heart of the cards. I call people based off who they are in eternity as oppose to temporary "Relationship Situations" and "Status Updates" and what have you.

      Kathy really wanted me to change my "Relationship Status" back in March of 2013 to "In a Relationship" and as a friend I decided to be nice to her. I was kind of feeling sorry for her and I wanted to show her that I can be her friend, even if her own sister isn't.

      Kathy really wanted to take a photo of me kissing her at this park in district 1 of Saigon, Vietnam, one Wednesday night in March 2013, so I decided to give her what she wanted. I may have also been partly scared because whenever I told her no she would get really angry at me and start throwing things at me. She has made me bleed. She ran over me with her motor-bike in March. In the past, her friends and family have called Kathy crazy because Kathy does lose her mind at times. Kathy has split personality, bipolar, demons, headaches, temper tantrums, diseases, hot flashes, periods, mood swings.



      Love your enemies.

      Love your neighbors as yourself.

      Do good to those who do bad to you.

      Do not return evil with evil.

      Love is about sacrifice.

      Love is about being there for others.

      The love of Christ is in me.

      I choose to help others with my life.

      I love Kathy.

      I love everybody.

      I am here for Kathy.

      I am here for everybody.

      I am not selfish.

      I do not spam.


      A friend of mine just told me about Teacher's Day which is the day that people give teachers flowers and gifts. I was touched with this because it means that people in Vietnam value the efforts of native and foreign teachers alike.

      I have been in Vietnam since Thursday, the 29th of November 2012, and I appreciate the generosity, hospitality, youth, creativity, courage, momentum, longevity, contentment, happiness, joy, and innovation that I find in the people of Vietnam.

      I am still in Vietnam and I have no plans of leaving at the moment. I may never leave. I may stay in Vietnam for the rest of my life. I am single but I may stay single for the rest of my life because there are certain things I may never do.

      If you are female, please know that I may never be reliable, dependable, trustworthy, predictable, unpredictable. I may not always buy you flowers. I may not do what you want me to do. I may not always do things for you. I may not always be around to spend time with you and our future potential hypothetical children, that is if we are both fertile in the ability to give birth to children. We can adopt. I may not always be a safe person to be around. I may have temper problems at times. I may have other problems at times. People will always hate me and want me dead.

      If you are a girl, you need to know that you may get yourself killed being with me because people may kill you and the children to get to me. This is a real serious warning because I am that kind of man.

      I will not play it safe.

      I will not do what others ask me to.

      I will only do what I believe is best in life.



      Original Oatmeal. Marilyn Mitchell. Joey Arnold. Jen-jen Pableo. Rick Arnold. Oo Joey Arnold. Restore Main Street. Mea Omnia. Ram Reflection. International Interference. 

      Oo Joey Arnold

      Mea Omnia


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